BEFRIEND lepers, prostitutes, “undesirables”
What makes someone undesirable? Their physical appearance? Their actions? Does God see people as undesirable?
I once had a roommate who I thought was “undesirable.” This girl had a strong, opinionated attitude, and she was not afraid to show her full emotions and judgments toward people. I was quick to judge too and our interactions included many eye rolls and snotty glares.
I did what I could to change the situation and we ended up in separate rooms. But a week later I heard an angel voice telling me that I needed to befriend this girl so that I could grow as a woman and a Christian Scientist.
That afternoon, I moved all her belongings back into our original room. I literally left a note on the door telling her she was back in the room. It was probably rude to do this without permission, but I felt that words alone were not going to resolve the way we felt about each other. We had to take action.
By the next evening I knew she would be one of my best friends. Nothing made her undesirable. As soon as I let go of these thoughts, a beautiful friendship blossomed.
Melody Colliatie, June 2012
Related Bible citations
Mark 2:15-17 Luke 5:12-15 Luke 7:36-48
Related songs, stories & reviews
Sweet Agnes by Randall Williams
Share Radical Acts
Download the flyer
Topics: Identity, Love
I’ve got a friend that many of my other friends are telling me to get away from. He’s not dangerous but there are things about him that aren’t blessing me. How do you balance doing the right thing for your neighbor with taking care of yourself? And how do I know that my other friends are acting out of love for me or because they don’t want to expose themselves to my friend?
Dear HB
Thank you for your humility to ask.
Questions unite, statements oppose.
In answer to your question with regards to your friend’s.
Love, love , love your way through it, that is what does the healing Love, it eradicates erroneous thoughts and reveals the true man.
Have no truck with mortal mind.
Love in Christ
Peter Reichl-Cunningham
Good questions HB! Add “and who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29), looking to Jesus’ example for your answer and you’re on solid ground. Your friends have the right to look to their own hearts and do as they’re led. Maybe you’re meant to be blessed by being a blessing. I know that can sound cliche, but it holds true. And the best way to be a blessing is just to be you!!
Sometimes being wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove (Matthew 10:16) includes setting boundaries in a relationship that feels unbalanced or potentially dangerous.
I have a friend who spent half his life in prison, lives on the street a lot, will take the mile if given the inch, and present himself how he thinks someone wants him to be, even lying to do so. When I caught onto this manipulation, I confronted him directly, made it clear that I would always be honest with him because I cared about him. I also made it clear that if he could do that too, we’d have the basis of a relationship. If that didn’t work for him then we wouldn’t have one. For the most part, that initial directness has paid off and now years later, when all others have written him off, we still have a friendship. I know he does his best to be as honest with me as he’s being with himself and he thinks of me as someone who has his best interest at heart and who he can count on. There have been times when I’ve refused to be in contact with him when he was living dangerously, and he knew it was because I care too much to watch him teeter willingly on a cliff. I’d tell him straight that when he stopped he could call me again.
I’m not intending to compare my friend with yours :), but just to say, I’ve found over the years that the statement in Science and Health (453:16) holds true – “Honesty is spiritual power”. Start there.
HB – I am also in a situation where I am making some difficult decisions about a friendship. This is not a situation that is fully resolved, but here is one thing I did that felt right to me.
After praying about it many times, I realized that I might be the only one in this friend’s life today who is making an effort to see his spiritual goodness, to notice and appreciate the real man that God made. I wanted him to know that someone out there believes in him and why.
Although I felt it was wise to step back somewhat from our regular interaction, before doing so I told him that I would always see him the way God does. I spelled out for him all of the wonderful spiritual qualities that he expresses and explained that he is that way because God gave him the ability to be like that, and that nothing could ever take it away. He listened; I mean, who talks likes that, you know? It got his attention. And every day I think of him as I said I would.
Also, HB, I wanted to say that just asking these questions and considering how best to help shows what a good friend you are. No matter how you handle the situation, you’re already on the right path – the path of Love.
I love these radical acts. They are relevant and ready to share with anybody who fancies themselves a Christian. I showed them to my HS Sunday School Class yesterday and asked whether anyone knew someone who needed to be befriended. All nodded. I asked ‘So did you befriend them? If they need it and you saw that, why didn’t you?” Nice frank answers about not wanting to be classified as to much like the lonely outcast, and not wanting to get involved with an unknown, etc. Great springboard for equally frank discussion about what Christian love actually is, and how it never leaves us vulnerable . We spent a little time imagining various outcomes of befriending, so that rather than fearing the unknown we could face a reality and act from our deepest spiritual foundation. I let them know that the transformation they were feeling was the effect of prayer, for prayer it was that we were doing- knowing the truth of ourselves and others, and it was healing us…
Phil I love how you shared this Radical Act in Sunday School! Here’s a whole page of resources for SS teachers and staff looking for creative ways to use Radical Acts in class — including an invitation to share ideas on a regular weekly phone call. http://christianscience.com/member-resources/for-churches/sunday-schools/radical-acts
Anon,
I am so sure of your good. We are all equals, and you are such a blessing. I’m glad for your contributions..and, I see how we are all blessed in this exchange. Thank you for the love back :)
Dear supporters of RADICAL ACTS
IT IS SAD TO SEE IN SOME OF THE LATEST POSTING HOW MANY ARE TRYING TO JUSTIFY OR DEFEND THEMSELVES.
WHAT IS AN OPINION WORTH IN CHRISTIAN SCIENCE? LET ONE LEAVE ALL TO ANSWER THAT THEMSELVES.
LET US LOVE, LOVE, LOVE OUR WAY THROUGH EACH AND EVERY DAY AND NOT DISSECT MORTAL MIND. LET’S LEAVE IT WITH NO POWER.
ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE
LOVE IN CHRIST
PETER REICHL-CUNNINGHAM CS
I love the title of this radical act because when you befriend someone…anyone…you aren’t seeing a separation. I don’t think Jesus thought “I’d better be nice to people who are less than me.” I think he say that they were beautiful inside and out. I think that’s what this act is all about. He befriended other “undesirables” too, like tax collectors. How many of us want the folks from the IRS sitting around our dinner tables? ha ha ha
Thank you, Anon. Thank you, for your courage, your beauty, and your expression of good. I feel blessed to bear witness to this. Many hugs your way, lovely.
Thank you, Amy B for your kind encouragement. My intentions were in the spirit of amends, and I am grateful for feeling heard. Much love to you!!!
I am a former sex worker and have many friends in the industry, and we do not deserve to be categorized with “lepers and undesirables”. The concept of being kind to people you’d abhor is beautiful, but I am suggesting you take note of the fact that sex workers are real people with normal lives. We get on the internet. We can read. We don’t like to be spoken of this way. Imagine your own job being categorized that way “Befriend lepers, (your job), and undesirables.” Not ok.
Anonymous, I’m so glad you expressed what’s in your heart here! And I’m trying so hard to really hear what you’re saying. So far, I’m missing something.
To me the title means something like, “Love everyone, including those who most people look down on, or most people are afraid of.” Or maybe, “Love everyone, including those who most people think aren’t worth loving.”
So to me the title isn’t saying anything negative at all about sex workers. It’s just saying that they’re people who the majority looks down on, or is afraid of, or thinks aren’t worth loving. Obviously they were chosen for this “short list” because they’re a famous example from the Gospels.
Of course you must be hearing the title differently. I truly want to understand and would appreciate a clearer explanation.
Thank you for the kind reply. I am not entirely sure how to be more clear. I’m not offended by the content of the article. Not everyone has such a low view of prostitutes. In the context of a document written ages ago, fine–in the context of this article, I’m suggesting more sensitivity. Can you imagine how if instead of prostitutes, it said “gays” “blacks” “Jews”… That ”Befriend lepers, Jews, and undesirables.” Is that ok if by “gays” what was actually meant was “people who are looked down on or feared”? It’s hard for me to understand that this isn’t clear. Leprosy isn’t such a prevalent issue anymore–”Leper” is commonly thought of as someone avoided or rejected by others. Many readers of this blog may feel it appropriate to equate prostitutes with lepers/undesirables. I don’t. I want to align myself with the loving intentions in this site but when I see such a blatant oversight on how this could possibly be injurious, I feel like it is not a place where I belong. Does that help clarify the perspective at all? If not, I don’t even know what else to say.
Dearest Anonymous,
Thank you so much for coming into our community here. The beautiful thing about Christianity is that is doesn’t matter WHAT you did in your past! WHO people thought you were, but here everyone is a child of God. We don’t worry about yesterday, past careers or past lives. The Apostle Paul tells us “to put off your old self…and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4: 22, 24).
The particular focus on “prostitutes” is the wide acceptance that one of Jesus’ most faithful disciples, Mary Magdalene, was a prostitute before she left it behind to follow him and his teachings. Have you gotten to really dig into the Bible? It is the most beautiful book! Some of the heroes of the Bible are prostitues including Rahab (Joshua 2) and Mary Magdalene (Luke 7:37).
The woman whose life and study of the Bible inspired this website, Mary Baker Eddy, makes Mary Magdalene’s actions the epitome of doctor/healer/nurse in her chapter on Christian Science Practice in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. You can read that book here: http://christianscience.com/prayer-and-health/the-bible-and-science-and-health/science-and-health
So the purpose of including the term prostitutes is actually biblically based – just as are the lepers and undesirables – all of them have a very important role in fulfilling the scriptural demand to “love your neighbor as yourself” – unconditionally!
We all can rejoice that the kingdom of God doesn’t judge us for anything we’ve done! It doesn’t see us through limited labels like the ones on this topic – but it does demand that we LOVE unconditionally anyone and EVERYONE! Again – how awesome is that?!?!?
Lastly, Jesus makes the most beautiful promise about his dear friend and disciple Mary Magdalene, a former sex worker. “Wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman’s deed will be remembered and discussed” (Matthew 26: 13).
Not her past career, not her mistakes, not her faults, but her love! And we are fulfilling that promise right here, right now, by having this conversation!!!
The Bible is so totally awesome! Yessss!
I didn’t express worry about what I’ve done in the past or call it a “mistake”. Look into your assumption that a person in the sex industry needs reassurance he or she is a child of God.
Your response ignored my point altogether and comes off more patronizing then welcoming. I can see that isn’t your intention, but the comment is basically another reflection of the inadvertent unkindness I felt moved to shed light on.
what is trying to be said, i think is that, in spiritual Reality, there is no consciousness of physicality or anything associated with it. If we are heavily identified with anything that isnt of Spirit =expressed in qualities like kindness, patience, peace, calmness , etc. …..====we are not awake fully to God’s perfect, flawless kingdom, in which we all dwell, whether we know it or not.
A “sin” is simply a miss…Knowing ourselves as physical and others as well, is not being aligned with Divine Love and Her idea for her spiritual children.
there is no evasion of question or point, but simply, the point being made exists on a totally different plane of thought, where Spirit a the illusion of physical can never mingle. We each come to this differently… it is between us and our Father/Mother God.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for writing. I practiced what you said – replacing ‘prostitutes’ with ‘gays’ or ‘Jews.’ It made me really uncomfortable – and then I realized that if I wasn’t just as uncomfortable using the word ‘prostitute’ then I’ve got some growing in love to do. Your gracious comments have brought up something extremely important to me. I’ve struggled with this Radical Act (which I wrote about here) and today I have a clearer understanding why. I thought this Act was about reaching out to help others who are undesirable, but I hate the concept of labeling someone as undesirable before I even say hello. Today, I realize that that is NOT what this Act is about. Rather, this Act is about realizing, and living, the fact that if I think someone is undesirable, I need to correct MY thinking…and then I’m prepared to go celebrate divine Life with that dear individual or group. Now I understand that this is the spirit of this Radical Act – the motive and healing power back of it – which I’ve been not seeing the depth of because I’ve been hung up on focusing on certain people who may or may not be undesirable.
Why would I ever think that one of God’s beautiful children is undesirable? You’re helping me see more clearly that it is not my mission to ‘save’ anyone – be that in the context of traditional Christianity, or socially, or whatever – but it is my mission to NEVER see a label before I see a person – an idea of God. And the thing is, I KNOW this…but it took your willingness to speak up for me to see this more clearly. Thank you.
I’m so sorry the title of this Act has been hurtful or condescending to you. As you can see, the stories folks have posted here are all about the blessings experienced when they broke through those barriers that try to keep people apart, and I know no one has meant anything in the lines of feeling superior to others. But your reminder is such an important one to me, in my life. If I’m all proud of myself for reaching out to an ‘undesirable,’ and if ‘undesirable’ is the main thing I remember about that person, then I’ve got a lot more to learn. Again, not saying that anyone else here has done that or felt that, but that this is what I’ve discovered today in my own journey with Radical Acts.
For me, now, this Act is about making sure that I am not looking for undesirables to befriend, but rather to make sure that I’m not seeing any of God’s precious children as undesirable in the first place. I know this post may not address any of your concerns, but I just had to thank you for shining your light here and for showing me the depth of the spirit behind this Radical Act.
With such gratitude,
John
Thank you so much for your beautiful comment, John! It not only absolutely addressed my concerns but helped me understand more articulately why I was moved to post in the first place.
Thanks John for sharing that spiritual insight, that’s wonderful. That was also exactly what I was feeling but being unable to formulate in my thought. Who or what are we really healing? Well of course we are always healing our own perceptions!!
I will tell you a quick example. Last night I ran into a lady that reminded me of this. I often saw her at homeless council meetings, she would be disheveled looking and she has a tick which makes her head twitch a little. She would sit quietly in the back. I assumed she was one of our homeless who sometimes attends. One evening at a friends family barbecue I was introduced to this lady. It turns out she’s quite affluent and not at all homeless. Last night she was at a fund raiser, just as unkempt as always, but I was not surprised to see her there because my perception of her had changed.
Dear friend,
Im not quite sure how the email notifications work, but I’m trusting you’ll get this even though I am replying to myself :-)
I am so grateful that you did feel heard – and it sounds like a lot of people are joining right in with me in having this Radical Act illuminated in a fresh way. See what a wonderful fire your presence has sparked!
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been really uncomfortable with seeing people as ‘bad’ labels first, and then trying to go befriend these bad people – I’m so grateful, again, to have had this Act redefined for me. But in my continued thought about this, I discovered that I’m very comfortable defining people as ‘good’ labels. But then this gets me into trouble because what if I don’t like, or even just don’t respond to, the ways those ‘good’ labeled people do things? What your conversation is bringing out to me, is that ALL labels – in other words, all societally, humanly, academically, etc. derived lenses of viewing people – are inherently misleading. There’s another Radical Act called ‘Let your light shine’ which I’ve been very involved with and which rings very close to my heart. Today, I see that the illuminations from this conversation are such a blessing for letting my light shine, and seeing the light others shine, because I can discard ALL labels – stop seeing ANYONE as better or worse because of attachments to their name, job description, appearance, faith… – and simply learn to be humble enough to see their life pointing to God – directing thought to God. I wrote a blog about this once, about being a hashtag for God (which you can email me for if you like but since its not T4T content I’ll leave it for now) and today I see just how much broader I can take this.
Thank you so much for being here. The courage you expressed in posting here, even though it seemed like (and maybe still seems like, even though I hope not) you might not be welcome, is very inspirational for me. Being available, always, to see God’s creation and trust Her supremely and only, is foundationally important for me in my lifework, and your refusal to be labeled as an undesirable (and encouragement to strip away labels in general) has been a light for my day.
There is a phrase from one of Mary Baker Eddy’s writings where she talks about living “in an age of Love’s divine adventure to be All-in-all.” (p 158 of her work, ‘The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany; Eddy was the discoverer of Christian Science) This has meant a lot to me – the joy of living in God’s divine adventure! – and today I see how, by removing labels and seeing God’s beloved children, I am more available to see this divine adventure instead of filtering it through (essentially egotistical) labels, be they deemed bad or good by society. It’s a joy to unite in this adventure with you.
Thank you, friend.
John
Anon, I think you are too strongly identifying yourself and others with the term “prostitute,” that you actually feel you need to defend it. At the end of the day, the idea that any idea of God could be degraded to such a horrible role is absolutely undesireable. That has never described or defined you.
In an address to The Mother Church, Mary Baker Eddy once said, “In this struggle remember that sensitiveness is sometimes selfishness.” No one here is judging you or any of your friends.
“No one here is judging you or any of your friends.” I posted anonymously and my own personality and circle of friends aren’t the point, but you are making pretty strong judgements, actually.
‘I think you are too strongly identifying yourself and others with the term “prostitute.”’ — judgement.
“degraded to such a horrible role… absolutely undesirable.” judgement–this is not how you “befriend” anyone.
“That has never described or defined you.” Another comment trying to reassure that something that offends YOU doesn’t define ME.
I would love it if the next person who wants to tell me how wrong I am would just take a few days to work it out internally before posting more patronizing comments.
Sorry I am not wording everything more sensitively–I am tired and have had a long day.
Also, a lot of resentment at prostitutes over thousands of years has stemmed from resentment at women being independent and in control of their sexuality. There are plenty of jobs that are far cruel-er than someone accepting money to have sex privately. Yet, prostitution makes the list with lepers/undesirables. The lowest of the low.
I refuse to argue with another soul that wants to sanctimoniously pontificate in defense of discrimination.
(Sorry to leave out male prostitutes in this comment–it’s a completely different dynamic, and typically the socially condoned resentment is more at homosexual acts in that case then in relation to the financial element.)
(“financial element” was the wrong choice of words. I mean the trading sex for money element. )
I’m thankful for anonymous’ wake-up call to us all, and John’s clarifying response. I GET IT!
I’ve had a number of jobs where I felt like I was “prostituting” myself. I wasn’t in synch with the purposes of the organization, but I desperately needed supply. “Selling your soul,” they say.
That’s why it was so exciting to learn in Christian Science that no matter what we do to make ends meet we can “express God’s qualities” (intelligence, compassion, patience, humor, etc.). There’s a purity about that thought that takes away any feeling of loss or taint.
I’m willing to consider the possibility that sex workers can express God’s qualities too as they do their work. For the most part that work involves gratifying someone’s physical urge without spiritual uplift. But we could say the same, I guess, of people who sell sugary doughnuts or video games or pointless consumer goods. They’re all distractions from our true craving, which is to feel our connection with God.
Today I’m going to try to undermine any thoughts that make me feel separate from, or better than, sex workers. I appreciate your comments, Anonymous.
Thanks to both Anonymous and Athena. This is one of the most arresting bits of dialogue on this website so far. Its really thought provoking. Anonymous, you made such a good point to try putting my own job in there. I used to be in marketing – my job was to sell people stuff they mostly don’t need, and I know people look down on this! And Athena’s right of course, the selection of undesirables is simply the Bible’s precedent. See Leviticus 13:45 or 19:29 for the cultural establishment of who’s an undesirable. But the impetus of Radical Acts is that Jesus turned all the thoughtless disdain and outcasting on its head, confronting all of it with love and and inclusion into the community of the kingdom of God. ( Luke 7:37-50 is my favorite). Anonymous, I’m sorry if the reference felt insulting and it may be of small comfort, but it occurs to me that your statements have best made Jesus’ point. Well done. Thank you for your provocative honesty and perspective.
“This Act is about making sure that I am not looking for undesirables to befriend, but rather to make sure that I’m not seeing any of God’s precious children as undesirable in the first place.”
I just had to repeat John’s central point . . . it was so dang good!
I think the core idea is a good one. We are, all of us, free to check our pious judgement of others at the door. The life of Jesus, should we desire to follow it, will always call us to set aside the world’s appraisal of who is good or bad and to see the child of God or real man instead. We are neighbors to one another. We are brothers and sisters. To the extent that we see the other person in the light of divine Love, we will be without judgement. We will be-friend.
That is, to me, only a starting point. Love is active and compassion for the well-being of others will almost always impell us forward if and when we encounter the distresses of others. In the meantime, the world will be a better place when we exercise more self-examination and less judgement of others. Then we can begin to allow Love to work its transforming way in our lives. Thanks to all of you for the honest sharing and the invitation to participate in this conversation.
Anonymous, I don’t know if you’re still following this thread or not, and even if you are, it is of course your right to reply or not reply. But I wanted to ask you a question. You described yourself as a former sex worker. My question is simply: what drove you to quit the business?
Gordon,
In all honesty, I quit the business because a lot of the experiences were terrible, and I couldn’t stomach it. In spite of my own first hand experience, I know people who do the work who don’t seem to have the same level of trauma from it–people who are kind, intelligent, generous, witty, loving to children, animals, friends, and their families. They are not social lepers or undesirables. Sometimes I don’t relate and am uncomfortable, but this can happen anytime anywhere among people who aren’t in the “industry”, too. One form of delusion of separateness doesn’t outweigh another–fear and delusion need to be surrendered… If I am feeling separate/better or less than fellow humans, it is an indication to get right with God. It doesn’t feel like it’s my business to try and take other peoples’ inventory and put them down. Everyone is working out their own conscious contact with God on their own terrain.
May God bless your journey Spirit-ward, and may He bless you. Thank you for being gracious and replying to my question.
Anonymous, I continue to be floored by your authenticity which is hitting me right in the heart. There is great power in your contributions to “stir the feather beds” (Mis 127:27-128:2). Thank you for blessing this community with (in my opinion) the most challenging conversation yet. You are much needed here.
I am so grateful you have spoken up!!!!! I love the spirit of these radical acts, but I also find this particular act offensive. I really don’t think Jesus thought “boy, I’m greatful I helped an undesirable today” I am so convinced he didn’t see in that way. It pains me to think of people I lend a hand to as in this catagory. I’m not great at quoting the Bible, but somewhere Jesus says that when we help those who are less fortunate, the very Christ is there. That is the way I like to think of it. OK. the Christ is here and I am being asked to come off my high horse and see it. And then I pray, God give me the humility to be ablt to see the Christ in this person. I usually think of it as my problem. Not theres. What am I seeing?
Thank you Thank you Thank you. I hope they may think of a different name for this.
This Radical Act — like all the others — comes directly from the Gospels. And Jesus, through his acts, taught us that all of God’s children are valuable and worthy…and in fact, sometimes those deemed least worthy by society can actually be the most spiritually minded.
So there was no intended no slam here. I hope we don’t get so distracted by the title that we miss out on the point. Most of us aren’t going to come into contact with lepers or even prostitutes. And more often than not, the “undesirables” in our lives don’t have anything to do with a health condition or profession. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have something to learn from this radical teaching.
Thank you, Shelly!
I’m grateful for your comment, for another understanding voice. A friend of mine put it well, that God is impersonal. In service, both the helper and the helped are bearing witness to God’s love. It feels at least as good to help as to be helped–in God’s reality, there are no “haves” and “have-nots”. Certainly a perspective to strive for anyway…
What a powerful thread! ‘Love reflected in love’ (MBE) is the only kind of relationship between us… It’s only mortal mind that labels anyone in good or bad categories. For me the idea of being in a certain category whether it’s considered ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is the delusion… I love what Jesus said when someone called him ‘Good master’: ‘Why callest thou me good? There is one good which is God.’
So, the whole idea of good guys and bad guys, haves and have-nots is the dream we’re awakening from, I feel… To realize we’re all ‘one universal family held in the gospel of Love.’ (MBE)
I am so grateful you saw this thread ‘Anonymous’ :)) and spoke up… Love you sister!! :)))
hmmm. I get ur point but u still think its ok to label people who are sick…
I think Anonymous made an excellent point here and deserves a lot of respect for bringing it up. She’s right, in my opinion. However, if we become too CS politically correct and never use common terms, it’s going to be difficult to have discussions about the practical applications of CS. I would rather say and hear a simple, “She’s sick” or “I’m an alcoholic” than “She has a belief of a suggestion of an illness” or “I appear to be suffering from a suppositious mortal mind challenge with alcohol.” One of the things that draws me to this site is its frankness in dealing with issues and its accessible language. I wouldn’t want to see that disappear.
Agreed on all points mountaingirl2.
Hyper-vigilant political correctness wasn’t my intention, and the point wasn’t to remove vocabulary words but that the grouping was insensitive.
And for people who keep saying “Let’s not lose the message we’re trying to carry, ” I am simply suggesting that the message is beautiful but that the title is not.
My intentions are simply to shed light on the fact that when you say Befriend prostitutes and also group them with lepers and undesirables, that that is the opposite of befriending them.
I deeply appreciate the people who relate/understand who have spoken up, because I feel like taking the time to write here was thus not in vain.
In all honesty, if this were an article simply discussing how prostitutes were sinning, despicable creatures, I wouldn’t have bothered speaking up or reading any of it. Some people feel so strongly on the other end of the spectrum that to engage in that line of discourse would be a likely dead end.
I spoke up here because it seemed like the intentions in the article were pure–and that the insult was accidental. In the past, I have been grateful when it’s been brought to my attention if I have inadvertently offended someone so that we can clear the air.
I rarely have a problem loving the undesirables. It’s the desire-ables that I struggle with.
You’re not alone! Several people expressed this thought last summer, and one reported progress. http://time4thinkers.com/2-befriend-lepers-prostitutes-undesirables/#comment-14861
I love the radical equality of CS. We all want the same thing — that “conscious, constant capacity to understand God.” Nothing else really satisfies. Knowing this helps me love the “desirables” too. That and the fact that I’ve known so many whose challenges were just as big as mine — only less visible to the outside world.
I had to run to the paint store mid day. The woman who waited on me was so inflexible and unhelpful. I didn’t befriend her when I had the opportunity. But I’m going to now. Sometimes the only place you can do this stuff is from the comfort of your own home….
I have a friend who’s also making me uncomfortable. I think it’s because she thinks differently than I do about a lot of things. But is that a reason not to feel at peace with her? Why do we prefer it when people see things the same way we do? Because it’s easier? I need to keep praying.
I heard today that a family member was recently in the play The Laramie Project. This reminded me that someone I know who is active in the gay community writes me off as a friend because of her view of my religion. I really like and admire her for many reasons. She seems to assume that because of my religious background, I have nothing in common with her. I am undesirable as a friend. Or maybe there’s something about me that I just don’t see that is offensive. This saddens me. I persist in thinking and praying deeply about it.
May one add to the above, that in all of Mary Bakers Eddys writings if is only used in a question form. In conclusion everything that Mrs Eddy wrote must be a statement of fact’s. Love in Christ Peter Reichl-Cunningham CS
I was thinking about this particular “Radical Act” all day long as part of the 20-day R.A. challenge, and wondering, “what opportunities will I have to befriend undesireables today, God?” I thought I found one earlier tonight, when I was volunteering. I sometimes volunteer with a local organization called “The Road Home,” which is an interfaith group of churches that host homeless families that are trying to get back on their feet. I assumed I would find my “undesireable” in one of the homeless people. Instead, I found my “undesireable” in one of the other volunteers.
There were four of us tonight: a woman I hadn’t met before, a man I hadn’t met before, and a man I had met once before, plus me. The other volunteers were all much older than me, 50s or 60s probably. The man I didn’t know asked me what I did for a living, so I talked briefly about software development — and immediately I could see his eyes light up and the gears start turning. He had been a teacher but had done quite a bit of computer programming on the side, as a hobby, and boy did he want to tell me all about it. It was a nerdy conversation to the max. And he was one of those people who had so many things he wanted to say he would just jump right from one to the next before anyone else had a chance to take a breath. I actually understood every word of what he was saying, but it was REALLY esoteric. And really obvious that he was speaking Greek to the other two. (I Cor 14:11 comes to mind.)
I could kind of sense that the other man and the woman were both starting to feel increasingly tense as the conversation itself became very “undesireable” to them. I could see in their body language that they were both thinking about just walking away from us, or at the very least, wishing something would happen to change the conversation. So I started being a little more bold. I jumped in over what he was saying (as gracefully as I could), and tried to relate what he was saying to something that I thought others could understand better. I had to do this a couple of times, to make the whole conversation feel more inclusive. At one point he could see that I was getting off topic from what he had originally been so enthusiastically talking about, and said to me point blank, “but I thought you find this stuff interesting!” I said, “Oh, I do! I actually find it fascinating! But I want to make sure they feel included too, because I don’t think they’ve understood a word we’ve said.” And he took it good-naturedly.
From that point on, the conversation shifted, and we had some really, really good conversations the rest of the night, about religion, politics, you name it. And we got to talk with the homeless people we were helping plenty as well, and it was just a really lovely and uplifting evening.
Gordon, I really appreciate the kindness, thoughtfulness, and sensitivity you expressed in this situation. I am taking this idea of being alert and sensitive to others with me today. Thank you.
You are so welcome, Kristin! :)
I’m so glad to have found this site!! One time when I was praying about what my purpose in life was, a CS friend of mine told me that we all have a purpose and it’s our right to know what it is. I drove down the beach to pray about what my purpose was. I told God I’d do WHATEVER it was that She wanted me to do – clean toilets, scrub floors, whatever, just as long as She told me. I sat on the beach and had this really beautiful feeling of peace…that everything would be alright…and then I felt I should go sit in my car because it was getting dark. Just as I’d sat in it, a man came up to my car and knocked on my window, asking if I could wind the window down because he wanted to speak to me. I wasn’t afraid at all or worried – I’d just been telling God I’d do whatever it was – and I felt this was part of the answer to my prayer. I wound the window down and he told me that he son was going to prison tonight and he thought that I might be able to talk with his son (who was also at the beach there) and help cheer him up. I said I’d love to. I’d had some relatives in prison before and the son told me he was worried that his family would not love him anymore after he went to prison. I said that’s impossible because they’ll love you no matter what – and that I’d had relatives in prison and that didn’t make any difference to how much love I felt for them. We spoke for about 30 minutes and ended up laughing and the whole mood had lifted. The father walked me back to my car and told me he knew that I would be able to help them and that “I must be an angel.” I was so grateful to God, but then I said “Okay God, that was pretty cool, but now what am I supposed to do? Hang around the beach for the rest of my life waiting to talk to people?” I drove home and decided that I was going to persist with knowing what my purpose was! I wasn’t going to give up – so I sat on my bed and refused to move until I had an answer. (I remember and old Sunday School teacher telling me she used to do this, so I thought I’d give it a try!). Within a short period of time, I had another VERY clear thought to phone the local prison in the morning and ask if I could be a volunteer teacher there. (I had a teaching degree). The next morning I phoned the prison and the man in charge asked me “Did you see our advertised position for a teacher in the newspaper?”. I hadn’t seen it and I didn’t even know of it and I told him and he said “Well, I think you’d better apply for the position.” I applied and got the job and had two amazing years there (with lots of other fantastic opportunities to do good.) This is a very long story cut short but reminds me that it’s God’s plan for us all to flourish in the business of doing good!!
As someone who’s often praying for clarity on purpose, I adore this story. Thank you so much!
Read this today on the Facebook page, Paying it Forward ~ One Day at a Time: “I had a brother who last year we sadly lost to mental illness. *Bless you Symon*. He struggled with this for many years. About 12 months before he passed away, he was really feeling lost and decided to leave his home he shared with my sister and live on the streets for a few months. We looked for him continually and with the help of the mental health team of Adelaide did eventually find him and get him into hospital. Once we got him back again he told us a number of stories of events that happened to him while on the street. One of which was about a lovely kind lady who had stopped on her walk home through the city to ask him if he was okay. Symon told us that the next day she came back to his chosen place in the park and brought him a sandwich and a handmade knitted jumper; which was obviously her own. He was still wearing the jumper when we found him several weeks later. To that lovely kind woman I send my love and heart felt gratitude. She saw a man who needed help. This man was a brother and a son, who was very loved and very missed. Her kindness comforted not only him but his entire family. Bless all you kind people making such efforts. Each person you help has a family who is grateful, comforted and healed by your actions too.” I so relate to this… I actually relate with the category of the lost, outcast, ‘unworthy’ one, (at least that’s how it feels when you’re there…) and what it is to feel like you have to stay far away from others and only collect little scraps of kindness, like this man wearing the handmade sweater until he passed on… I think of the story in the Bible of the man in the tombs cutting himself, filled with painful thoughts, isolated from others, and how he immediately recognized sanity and purity and thought he could never be associated with those qualities and yet he was and was then sent back to live in his community again. I pray with my whole heart that everyone who feels rotten and worthless and hopeless, feel the love that casts out isolating ‘demons’, and returns them to their community, whole and free!
I’ve made it habit over the years to befriend street children here in Rio de Janeiro. I would sometimes swim with them on Copacabana beach, and never really saw them as “undesirables,” although many of these children are pickpockets, thieves, and worse. I met one little boy named Evandro who was so intelligent and mature. To me he was so much more than just a street kid. I ended up giving him an extra bicycle I had so he would have more freedom to move around the city and expand his horizons.
A friend called me this morning and asked if she could come over to my home for a visit. She told me she had been suffering with flu symptoms for 2-3 days. By the manner in which she asked if she could come over, I could tell that she wasn’t sure if I would mind being “exposed” to her flu. I fearlessly told her to come on over — I knew she wanted to read the Bible Lesson together with me, and I certainly didn’t want to un-befriend my friend in need just because she might seem “undesirable.” Before she arrived, I read Mary Baker Eddy’s piece on “Contagion” in Miscellaneous Writings 1883-1896 (pp. 228-229) and felt confident that all was well. After she arrived, we read the Bible Lesson (subject: Love) aloud, and I noticed that Jesus’ healing in Section 4 was of a leper (another “undesirable”). She left my place feeling much better. I’m so grateful to have met my challenge today by practicing the Radical Act of befriending “lepers, prostitutes, ‘undesirables’”.
This is the first time I’ve really read through any of the Radical Act pages here, although I’m a very frequent site visitor. Don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner. I just read through this entire page and these are some of the most beautiful and inspiring stories. I have two brief stories I’ll share.
Now this isn’t’ something huge really; hardly a Radical Act of any sort, but it taught me something. Several months after I had begun to truly make Christian Science my own (been around it my whole life; not until fairly recently did I truly begin practicing it.) I was at a restaurant waiting to order food. This man came, pushed his way in front of me in line and ordered, even though I had been there first.
I was thinking how annoying and rude it was, but then started thinking I need to love the guy. But how? I just kind of let it go after waiting there for about 5 minutes, still reaching out to God, asking Him to show me how to really love in that type of situation. Funny thing was, I ended up getting my food before him even though we’d ordered the same thing. Interesting how that works… It was such a totally insignificant thing in the grand scheme of things, (I wasn’t even thinking about getting my food first, and I couldn’t care less about it at that point.) but it turned into a lesson in how Love corrects and makes all things right. After I realized what had happened and thinking about it, suddenly it was so much easier to love the guy and I began to feel very humbled and feel a great deal of compassion towards the guy. Maybe he’d had a bad day… Maybe he was lonely… Who knows. But it was a good lesson to learn.
The other story is one where I was a recipient of an amazingly kind act. One day near Christmas I was making a long drive home to be with family. This was before I was consecrated to the study of Christian Science. A time where I was pretty cynical about humanity; if I thought about it (and I didn’t often, because I didn’t/don’t like feeling mad/upset. Has always felt so unnatural to me!) , I would easily get annoyed and angry at all the bad stuff that seems to be going on in the world. At that time in my life, that view outweighed the good that was always going on. As I was driving, I was feeling annoyed about something and came to a toll plaza. I pulled out my money and the toll taker said there was no need to pay; the person in front of me had done so. And this wasn’t some $0.50 toll. It was $5. I was floored; and immediately began to feel repentance for feeling annoyed. It suddenly seemed so ridiculous. I was overwhelmed by goodness and gratitude, so much so that I probably cried for about an hour, just thinking about that small, kind act. My life, like everyone’s has had ups and downs, but really, nothing compared with the stories of many. It’s always overflowed with good, kind acts from friends and family. But never had a total stranger done something like that for me before.
Mrs Eddy had a comment: “To my Household at Pleasant View: The rules of this house do not permit of evil being spoken, thought, or heard. Love rules this and every hour. M.A.M. is without power, powerless. Darkness is nothing. Mind is All, God is All and His voice is heard in all places.” Love rules this house ( consciousness)!
When working as Head-Librarian for our Christian Science Reading Room, I was quite new to Christian Science. I remember this Hawaiian man, who came in several times a week. One day, he said that he had been a drug addict, but that coming into the Reading Room and speaking to me he felt he could begin to see who he was as the child of God. He felt loved, not judged. As a matter of fact, he felt so loved, he began to attend our church from then on.
Way to emanate Love Suzanne!
Thanks Tricia!
I just returned from a business trip. While I was walking to the train station that would take me to the airport early in the morning (it was still dark), a young woman was walking in my direction down the middle of the street. She was leaning on one of those walkers that has a hand break with a basket underneath and a place to sit above it. She was loudly talking incoherently. As we drew closer together, I began to pray to understand that the one Mind governed all and Her expression could never be deranged or confused. Then she turned from her place in the road and approached me. Tearfully, in a shaky voice, she asked me for a dollar, explaining that no one seemed willing to help, would I be willing to help her. With my heart full of compassion, I stopped and gave her the dollar that she asked for. You would have thought I had given her a gold nugget! She thanked me profusely and continued to do so as we continued in our separate directions.
As I made my way to train station, I began to feel badly that I had not had time to do more for this dear young woman. She seemed in need of so much more than money. Then I realized that the most helpful and best thing I could do for her was to pray to see her as God created her, upright, whole, and free. I spent the rest of my trip to the airport praying to see her and all mankind as one with God, divine Love, well supplied with all that we need. I try to do this regularly anyway, but this experience has really helped me to focus more on doing so consistently and for everyone in every circumstance every day.
Thank you so much for sharing this story, Howard. No act of kindness is wasted – and what better way to get in the habit of befriending than to get out and try! To be available to the masses who would love to know how loved they are.
Thanks again for being here – and for being there for that young woman.
Dear Howard
How much love you expressed to that dear lady, and that love as we all know will go forward into eternity for hear and all mankind.
Our dear leader Mary Baker Eddy left us all a Chapter on Prayer in Science and Health and it heals everyone and every thing. It has no if’s and but’s in it, and if anyone finds them in that chapter one will give a donation to the charity of there choice.
Again, Howard thank you so much for your expression of love.
Love in Christ
Peter Reichl-Cunningham CS.
I work with the homeless. Yes, sometimes they smell and they can act indignant, rude or uncaring. But it’s only a false front. Behind the outward appearance is the true person. One man I know writes beautiful poetry about God. Many are proud grandparents with the photos in their pockets to show. When you see a street person you don’t have to “befriend” them in a physical way, you can Love them in a Christ way, justs send buckets of Love over them in thought, see past the human to the Divine image.
I would add that today so many agencies that work with people in need have had their budgets cut and are struggling to make ends meet everyday. Supporting these programs with donations of your time, goods or money, no matter how small, is such a great help.
I am so deeply grateful for this particular RA, as it has proved so beneficial in thinking more positively about others after moving to a new culture. About 5 weeks ago, I moved to the South of England to begin graduate school. However, shortly upon arriving, I discovered just how “bohemian” the new city I am living in actually is. I wasn’t prepared for it, and ended up being hit with a very big sense of culture shock. Because of the huge emotional adjustment I experienced shortly after my arrival, the easiest things for me to pick at and vent my frustration towards ended up being completely surface level and shallow. Whether you call it “artistic,” “liberal,” “bohemian,” or “hipster,” the urban culture here struck a chord with me, and I couldn’t tolerate the crowd. I would judge people for how they were dressed, for smoking, you name it. But judging the culture here only made the adjustment of moving to a new culture worse for me, not better.
It was at the height of my frustration with the urban culture here that I came across this RA. To “BEFRIEND lepers, prostitutes, ‘undesirables’” was exactly what I needed to do, and was the exact opposite of what I had been doing. Rather than criticizing, condemning, judging them for the way they dressed and acted, I needed to completely erase all sense of judgment from my mental atmosphere and start fresh. I needed to see the situation from a different perspective, as my own sense of judgment and self-righteous thinking made me just as much of an “undesirable” as I viewed them, if not more so. To be judging others based on something so shallow and mortal makes me equal to the exact thing that I am judging, no better. Whereas I was judging them for smoking, etc., I was just as deserving of judgment for being so critical. The comments in this RA were exactly what I needed to gain a grasp of the situation; to turn my mental atmosphere towards something more spiritual, and thus conducive of healing.
After reading this RA, I stopped judging others for what they were wearing. While I still need to get better at not reacting so strongly to other people smoking, I can tell that my mental atmosphere has improved spiritually. One such example of this occurred on the bus last week, as I was heading to the campus of my University. While I was on the bus, I overheard a conversation between a group of undergraduate students. One girl was bragging to her friends about how much alcohol she had drunk, and how many boys she had kissed, at the party she had attended the previous night. By the way that she was talking about her experience at the party, I could tell that she was choosing phrases and adjectives that were meant to impress her friends, so she would appear “cool,” “hip,” “desirable.” From her description, it was easy to decipher her motivation for why she was choosing to behave this way- she wanted to be liked. She was aching for that same sense of love and appreciation that we all crave, but going about it in the way that she thought was necessary to yield the results she wanted. As I sat there, listening to the girl, I immediately began cherishing her, and the expression of her identity, in my thought. I held to the fact that she is innately loved and cared for, by a love that is pure and irrevocable. And as I embodied this sense of love in my thought, cherishing her, her innocence, and the spiritual qualities that I knew were innate within her, I realized that my own tendency to judge and criticize had vanished, having been replaced by the healing presence of Divine Love.
I am certain that it was the spiritual insight I have gathered from this RA that enabled me to drop my sense of condemnation, and love that girl on the bus. I am so grateful for this RA, as it has helped me immensely in adjusting to the new setting and culture here in Brighton, England.
Dear Alanna Lee,
How goes it across the pond!? I lived in England for two years and I really get the culture shock. In hindsight, it wasn’t so much the culture content (urban hipster or suburban conservative ), rather, that there’s a ‘general belief’ of class distinction- ie “working class” vs “landed gentry” or even your accent and that it’s a giveaway of your class, upbringing, education, etc. You will feel the effects of this shocking class consciousness either by a sense of insecurity to freely express yourself, or a pull to judge others’ expressions, unless you lift your thought above it. And the good news is, you are aware and on your way!
Your busride story is way to go. You’re to be obedient to Jesus’ command to “Judge not according to the appearance but judge righteous judgment”. Because whether one can relate to the prodigal or the older brother in Jesus’ parable, the goal would be to see through the eyes of the father, in which each is distinct and equally beloved based on spiritual id, not class or culture. And you’re on it!
As you go out every day wearing that armor of Love and look for the spiritual qualities that are common to all via Soul reflection, it’ll continue to open your spiritual senses to unique and unified beauty and variety. And the invasive, unpleasant awareness of smoke will fade as your love and appreciation empower you.
After a first really tough year in England (and heaps of spritual growth), I fell totally in love and wanted to stay and felt enormously broadened by my experience.
Lastly, your story reminded me of an article called “Taking Offense” which is in the book Miscellaneous Writings, by Mary Baker Eddy. As you continue to adapt there, its a good one to read often. You’ll do so much good, and naturally, as you look for depth beneath the “identity outfits” which are put on and off and never touch real i.d. As a CS practitioner and mom of a smoking, hipster college student, I can attest to the deep intelligence and sensitivity, compassion for humanity and spiritual seeking that’s going on beneath that appearance which I can’t afford to judge by.
I reeeeeaaaalllllly hope to hear more from you! Thanks for blessing the community.
PS: I love this - Mary Baker Eddy was once hailed as “from every point of view a woman of sound education and liberal culture.” My. 304:21
Hi, Tricia!!
Thank you SO much for your response!! It truly means a lot to me, and I am so sorry I didn’t see it until now.
Hope all is well, and again, I am truly sorry for the delay!
with love,
Alanna
Hi Alanna
I think I know the City you are talking about because I lived there for many years and have been missing its sense of life, it’s fun, it’s joy, it’s beauty – do try to explore the countryside and seaside you maybe have been prevented from exploring because of the weather. But here’s the thing: I have also been sometimes very upset and annoyed by the behaviour of some for those who live there. I remember once praying deeply about this and reaching out to Divine Love. On my way into town I came across a young man spread out on a park bench. Because I had been praying I just felt love for him and his friend, who was standing next to him looking worried. I gently asked if the young man needed any help. The friend blurted out that he had taken a drugs overdose and had been unconscious for ten minutes. Reaching out in prayer, I spoke to the young man, assuring him his life was in God, that he was loved and cherished. The emergency services who were on the way got there incredibly quickly and were able to intervene before young man passed on. He was apparently very close to death when they arrived. I continued praying for him until I felt at peace about it all. When I followed up later that day he was out of danger and had recovered. I knew God would continue to take care of him.
The experience had some unforseen results – apparently that section of the park was a meeting point for people to buy drugs…this was on my route into town and a well used public footpath. Just a few weeks later, the Council cut back the tall hedges that were providing ‘cover’ for the dealers, and brought in a plan to improve this small park and its public areas, encouraging families and visitors to enjoy it. The whole atmosphere changed and so did my regular walk into town. I wonder if we realise the power of heartfelt prayer to heal and change situations.
Your presence in this City and any other place where you go will be blessed by your uplifted thoughts imbued with the Christ love, and ensure your experience is a joyful and fulfilling one.
Jesus hung out with the “undesirables”. I get it. Cecilia showed up at my church one Sunday. I welcomed her. It was clear she was struggling with delusions. She was so acutely vulnerable, so openly seeking help, that my heart went out to her. I could see there was something very precious about her and it never occurred to me that the weird things she said had anything to do with who she was.
I began giving her rides home from church services and we’d park by her house and have long conversations about God. She desperately wanted to believe in a good intelligence that controlled the universe that was more powerful than the scary voices in her head. She’d call me often in distress and just say “please, Trish, pray for me”.
As the months passed, Cec gained ground mentally. She managed to take a college class, then another. She got a job, then two jobs and helped with the family bills. She went off the meds. And though we didn’t see each other much during a year, because she was busy, when we did, I was awed by this amazing young woman that I knew was always there.
Then came the call from the mental hospital. Would I come? She’d refused to see anyone else, even family.
Each time I made the three hour round trip across LA during the worst traffic of the day, there was nothing I’d rather have been doing. Just to be there with her in that heartbreaking place, bringing her shampoo or potato chips gave me a singular sense of purpose -
See who she really is.
And she began to tell me things about her life, terrible things that had happened to her, that made me cry. And I shared a few of my own and she didn’t feel so alone. We let ourselves feel loved by God and innocent again together. And then she allowed her parents to visit, so she could eventually go home.
She wanted me to meet the friends she’d made at the hospital and tell them about Christian Science. So I did. Then I got invited to a birthday party, and then another. I met their families. They were so welcoming and grateful. And I was stunned and humbled by the authenticity and inclusiveness and loyalty of this group of “undesirables”. Their conversations were honest and unpretentious. They were unnervingly intelligent. They had the humility of those who’ve had all control taken from them, know it can happen again and take each day as it comes. They “check in” and support each other, sharing their wisdom - what meds to refuse, what therapies to try, what spiritual practices help. With due respect to my church, and in my opinion only, the tender, mutual care expressed by this “leper” community put our normal one to shame.
Now Cec and I meet weekly over pizza and spiritual strategies to deal with the panic attacks that constantly threaten her job security. Last week, she asked me, all big-eyed sincerity, “Trish. That day at church, why did you like me?” And as I choked up, I said because she let me into her life to see she was beautiful and intelligent, and pure and loving and childlike and generous and trusting and everything that Jesus said we should be. And she’s one of the bravest people I know.
And she told me I was the only true friend she’d ever had. If I never hear another compliment for the rest of my life, I think I’ll still be happy.
I love this story sooo much! Especially the part about how you were the only person she wanted to see at the hospital. Once we get used to the vision of ourselves that “we sometimes behold in the camera of divine Mind,” the world’s vision is unbearably harsh. What a gift you two are to each other. Thank you for sharing this!
Ooooh, I love the way you saw that Nina! It is true that Cec’s family sees her through a lens of neuro-chemistry. Your insight led me to the following – “And how is man, seen through the lens of Spirit, enlarged, and how counterpoised his origin from dust, and how he presses to his original, never severed from Spirit”. (My. 129:15)
This story of yours is on your website that you had given the link to some time back…i believe it is “key to correct thinking” .com? Keytocorrectthinking.com??? I have bookmarked it. It is a special website that I need to visit more often. This story in particular made me sob with joy!
I had wanted to thank you for referring us to it. Most preciois and useful! I especially ad8ore how you presented it with the music and serene imagery. What a gift…
I urge anyone who is a student of CS or simply wanting to know more about it, to check it out. Please correct me if i was wrong about the web address … thanks again!
Lots of Love!!!!!!!!!!
Monica
This post was for Peter… SecrecToCorrectThinking.com is closer to the actual. Help me out here Peter!
Monica
For those who want to read the story, scroll back to Peter’s comment 9/26. The video link was added 8/26. Both are marked “Radical Act Story.”
Yes, thanks Nina!
For some strange reason, Peter’s written post about his “radical act” came to my phone just a few minutes ago as though it had just been posted. Very interesting … all things work together for good though!
Dear Monica
The information you need is
http://www.keytocorrectthinking.co.uk
When you are on the Home Page you will see three video screens click onto the middle one and enjoy the experience.
One can also read it on the Questions & Answers by typing into search, road.
What a wonderful spiritual journey we are all on.
Love in Christ
Peter.
I was asked by Nina deCordova for a reply to my commit Made on 8/19/2012 about the 2 Nurse Aides having trouble getting along. NINA, for over a month they are getting along just fine. Thank you for asking. It makes me feel great knowing that commits made by me and others are getting recognition.
This is fantastic Tobias! It’s especially sweet because in August you told us about a Radical Act in process. When one Nurse’s Aid was bullying the other, you said: ” I am submitting this before the demonstration is finally realized based upon Christ Jesus, thanking God before he raised Lazarus from the dead.”
Thanking God before you see any results — Jesus did it all the time — what a truly RADICAL act!
Hey Tobias! Thanks so much for sharing your follow-up! I’m so glad Nina reminded us all of how you originally were posting in joyful expectancy of good. It takes such courage to do that, even privately where no one else could see…and your bold declaration of Truth, and commitment to seeing God’s work, could never reveal anything BUT blessings! Like you, I’m so grateful for this community and the opportunities we are presented here to bask in pure goodness with each other. I know that your boldness in committing to this Radical Act will inspire many others.
We don’t have to wait to see how the story turns out before we can give gratitude, do we…we know that we are loved and we can live like we are! Thanks again for being here – so glad to hear from you :-)
Hi Tobias,
Thanks for sharing your update–and your original thoughts. I was thinking that committing publicly to this Radical Act is sort of like two RAs in one. After all, didn’t Jesus encourage us to keep our eyes on Christ, to cast out doubt, in order to see the full demonstration of the superiority of Spirit over any material condition, of Love over any discord? (I’m thinking here of the story of Peter walking on the water, and Jesus asking, “Wherefore didst thou doubt?”)
Sometimes, these Radical Acts seem like a tall order. But I love the fact that as we commit to casting out doubt, and to keeping our sights fixed on Christ instead, we can befriend undesirables, forgive 70×7, walk on water–all those other acts. Thanks for being an example of that.
As the Sunday School superintendent of a very little church in Germany, I spent one entire year with nearly no sunday school students. One sunday, in the midst of the service, I had the idea to go out into the city to look for young people hanging around that I could talk to. Instead, I found a group of men, sitting together with their beer bottles, cigarettes, and even some drugs, as I learned later. I felt that it was absolutely right to approach them and talk to them, even though it took me some time, prayer and courage to do so.
Finally I went up to them and greeted them. They were friendly, but a little sceptical. One man asked if I belonged to the nearby protestant church. I said, no, but yes, I‘m from a church, a little more far away. One of them started talking to me. It was a very nice conversation. He told me that he is not used to visit church, but that one day he did so and had a very peaceful and uplifting feeling. Most of the time I was just listening, appreciating his little mustard seed faith and not trying to teach him my religion. When I had to leave to go back to my church, where the service was still going on, he asked me to come again.
A few weeks later (it was december 26th), I returned to the spot where the men used to meet. I then brought a package of gingerbread hearts. Only a small gesture – but they were so greateful, and I had a good talk with some of them. One man was talking about having been in jail and in drug addiction and now having started a new better life. And again, I was just listening, silently and prayerfully supporting his inner progress.One man said: „Aren‘t you afraid to be with us – we are criminals!“ – and another man instantaneously contadicted: „No, that‘s not true. We are human beings!“
I think what made the conversation so natural and friendly was accepting that we were all equal – I wasn‘t descending from a holy cloud bringing them some good, but we all were already very good.
Oooooh Annette-Ruth, this is the real deal kind of story for this website. It melted my heart and I love that feeling. Your story is right out of the Bible lesson this week on “Doctrine of Atonement”. I’m sure it took such courage to approach these “strangers” and “undesirables”. Sounds like they welcomed you into their space. And how blessed you must have felt to welcome them into your truth as well, til one stood up for them all! Thanks for sharing.
I love love love how you shared church in your community! Please share more experiences if you have them.
I read something amazing in Real Simple magazine (August 2012) and it made me think of this Radical Act. A woman wrote about a conversation she had with her dad when she was 4. It changed her life. Her father was a prince in Cambodia. They encountered an old blind beggar and bought him some rice wrapped in lotus leaf. As she stepped forward to give the man the food, her dad said, “Don’t forget to take off your sandals before you make your offering.” In Cambodia, removing one’s shoes is done when giving alms to a Buddhist monk as a sign of deference.
Her father explained, “We are all beggars. It doesn’t matter what we wear–rags or silk. We each ask the same of life.” He later explained that no matter how impoverished the man was, his life was worth as much as any other and he deserved our respect.
Love this story, Amy! I want to do more mental “removing of my shoes” when I tackle this Radical Act.
Reading the story of the Cambodian prince also reminded me of something a friend shared with me several years ago. His family had been close with an older woman for several decades–he’d known her since he was a teenager, and this incident took place when he was in his 40s. He’d gone to visit her, and when she wanted to get up from her chair, he put out a hand to help. She smiled at him and asked, “Are you helping me because I’m old, or are you helping me because you love me and want to put out a hand for me?”
My friend was surprised and a little chagrined. Of course he loved her and wanted to put out his hand for her, but he realized he was also seeing her as old and enfeebled. Needless to say, this changed his perspective rather dramatically.
I’ve often thought about that story when I’ve been moved to help someone–about the fact that pure love, not any vision of the person as “undesirable” in any way, should be what’s motivating me. I have a ways to go, but I’m grateful whenever I’m prompted to change the way I’m thinking about someone, and to see them more the way Jesus would have.
wow…what an amazing gathering of “friends” the world has brought together along this comment thread.
The Chinese believe that there is a red thread that connects us to the people we are meant to become family with. I see that red thread running so richly through each comment. There is a common desire to connect with humanity, to find “one’s own (good)” in another’s goodness.
Mary Baker Eddy writes, in her autobiography, “Retrospection and Introspection,” “There are no greater miracles known to earth than perfection and an unbroken friendship.”
I’ve never been more sure of a friendship, than when the thread is stretched (almost to the breaking point) by a misunderstanding, misperception, heartbreak, or sorrow.
Of all the healings I have witnessed, experienced, celebrated, it is the miracle of unbroken friendship that most deepens by understanding of God, as Love. Eddy also says, “If we would open their prison doors for the sick, we must first learn to bind up the broken-hearted.”
To be-friend those who feel most unworthy of friendship, to reach out to those who feel disconnected from Love…whether by their own mistakes, circumstances, or chance…is to take the first step in experiencing the kind of healing that is a miracle of grace.
I feel so connected to each of you, as friends in Christ. Coming to this holy space has united us in a divine purpose. An unbreakable bond of Love.
always, k.
Dear Kate,
Thank YOU for all YOUR comments to each and every one of us.
Yes, “Love is reflected in love.”
Oh, how much God loves all of us.
Have a wonderful adventure.
Dear Kate
Let one share this with YOU.
“A friend is someone you have not met yet”.
Have a wonderful adventure.
Love in Christ
Peter.
I love this story. You’re so kind and so brave. And he was so trusting and expectant of good. The radical act of loving–and treating–our brother the way we’d like to be treated brings out the very best of us, the God-given qualities.
One winter I was walking home from work on a very busy city street with lots of people. I was feeling kind of sorry for myself because my friends couldn’t hang out and I wasn’t looking forward to going home. I walked by a man begging who I had never seen before. He was moving back and forth to stay warm and very gently asking for change, I could barely hear him.
I walked past him but something made me stop, turn around and walk up to him. Thoughts like “what do you think you’re doing, you’re alone, it’s dark out, you’re a woman, etc” swirled around in my head. Before I knew what I was saying I asked him if he had dinner yet and if he would like to join me for dinner at a place nearby. He said no he hadn’t had dinner and he would like to, so he walked with me a few feet and held the door open for me. He asked for the smallest thing on the menu but I bought a larger meal and explained the price difference wasn’t very much.
We had a good dinner and a pleasant, short conversation about normal stuff like where we grew up and what kind of music we liked. The whole time I just prayed to say the right thing and to give the respect and dignity everyone deserves…I didn’t want to come across like I was better then anybody or out to fix someone.
I was so grateful for this experience, it changed my life – it’ll make me think twice before I complain about something I think I lack.
Dear Mclean – you are so brave like Amy said. I will not forget your story and may it spur me on to follow your example!
What one is submitting to the above is not to impress anyone , but to impress upon everyone, that God is All-in-all. That it is impossible for God to have created an UNDESIRABLE.
The “Man of the Road”
I always like to tell people this story, because it is a story about Love, love for your fellow man. Not the nancy-pancy love, but true Love, Love from God. The kind you cannot explain with words no matter how hard you try. However, I am going to try to anyway because it is such a beautiful true story, and I want to share it with you.
This story is about a man named Eric. He lived in my city and he lived on the streets. When people saw him, they would cross to the other side of the street, not really wanting to be on the same side of the street as he was. He lived on the streets, and his clothing was rumpled, he needed a haircut and was unshaven. He looked very simple, not like someone, you would want to be seen with and he always looked at the ground.
Whenever I would see Eric, I would ask him if he wanted tea. He would always look startled that I would want to be with him, we would then go into the restaurant, and I would order him whatever he wanted.
I remember one time on a cold, rainy, blustery night; I took Eric into a nice restaurant in my hometown. We proceeded to sit down when the waitress came over and in a loud voice said,” He cannot eat here.”
I was startled at the coldness of her voice, and taken aback. Eric was ashamed and immediately hung his head and went toward the door. I asked him to please sit on the bench and wait for me there. He did, looking at the floor, holding his hands in tightly clenched fists in a state of shame and nervousness.
I proceeded to ask the waiter what was going on here. I told her “that he was my guest”, that I was going to order a meal for my friend, and that I would pay for it. She said whenever he ate in the restaurant he would make a mess and the manager did not like it. I asked to see the manager. I spoke quietly with her assuring her that I would be responsible for cleaning up the mess if he made any. She said that would be fine.
I motioned for Eric to come and sit beside me at the table, and we proceeded to order. I noticed how nervous he was, but we went ahead. We ordered our meal, and enjoyed it. I left substantial monies to pay for any extra cleaning up and we left the restaurant and went out into the cold, dark, November night.
“Would you like to come to my place for a cup of tea?’ I asked him, wanting to do something more for him.
Looking down at his feet, he sadly said,” Sure, Peter, I would like that.”
We proceeded to my apartment, and once inside I asked him if he would like a change of clothes and a shower. Ashamed and shy, he said” no, no thank you.”
I said, “Ok, but at least allow me to change your socks for you and give you dry shoes.”
I knelt down beside him and proceeded to take his wet, bottomless shoes off him, and pull off his stockings. As I was pulling them off I happened to look up at him.
His eyes were blue as the summer sky and filled with tears and he looked as though he had seen the dearest, most precious, thing in his life.
It was a streaming of Love I had never experienced in all of my ”loves.” I was stunned, and held in this glance for a long time, as I had not had that kind of Love given to me ever. It was. Golden Love, and pure, and filled my soul with a buoyancy that fairly lifted me off the floor.
Those eyes filled with that pure, redeeming Christ Love are still so clear in my mind as though it was yesterday. I often think that such a small thing as changing a man’s shoes and socks could reveal the hem of the Christ.
He left soon after that, and went his way. I went mine.
About a year later, I was walking in that same neighbourhood when I felt a tap from behind on my shoulder. I turned abruptly, not knowing what to expect, and…It was man in a top coat, with a nice hat, polished boots, clean shaven and his hair was combed, and he was smiling with those enchanting blue eyes that smiled now at the corners.
“Eric, what happened?
“Well, I felt so much better with the dry shoes and socks you gave me with so much love, I went to the nearest shelter, and they took me in. Soon I was offered a room, and I was able to get a job in the cafeteria, and now, well…come on and see.” He was excited and I followed him down the street.
He stopped in front of a building on the corner, and we climbed the stairs to number 12. He unlocked the door and there inside was a beautifully furnished little room, with a nice TV and a rocker and the feel of “home.”
“This is my place, Peter. Do you like it? Would you like a cup of tea?
We never know how our actions will influenece others in this world, but we do know that they will influence them , and if done with Love….. well, just pause and think of all the possibilities.
Thank you so much for your consideration and love.
Wow! This is beautiful! What power Love has. :)
I agree with Gordon. Thanks Peter!
YO – This website draws angels. Seriously. Angels. This is amazing!
I read something recently that said the majority of Americans, at some point, experience poverty during their life-experience. Isn’t that amazing? The majority of people ARE the people that Richard spoke of earlier.
Doesn’t this help to show that poverty is not about possessions? It’s not about what we have or don’t have materially. It’s how we live, what we think, how we share, how we live our lives.
I had a connection with an “undesirable” that changed my life. It’s funny – these “undesirables” always come when I need them most. They come to help me see that what the world calls comfort is not comfort.
That our bodies are made for two things: giving hugs, and carrying crosses.
I’m getting better at both. :D
This obituary is a good example of a life of radical acts. A fearless life of radical acts always spells controversy - a sign of a healthy radical! – think William Sloan Coffin, MLK, or Jesus.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/14/nyregion/howard-moody-minister-of-judson-memorial-church-dead-at-91.html
One of my favorite passages in the Bible is in Matthew (14:14) which answers the question about how we can be moved with compassion. I call it Jesus’ 3-step program for attaining that posture of the heart that heals and is healed.
1. “[And Jesus went forth,]
2. [saw a great multitude,]
3. [was moved with compassion toward them,]
THEN [he healed their sick.]”
First he ventured forth; usually this means he is venturing beyond the conventions of his day. Moving out allowed him to really see those who needed him. It is seeing them, their contrite hearts, needy limbs, etc. that moves Jesus. Where does he then move? to compassion.
The word translated “compassion” comes from a Hebrew root associated with “womb.” That’s because if anyone would be compassionate, it would be a mother for her own child. Isaiah tells us, “Can a woman forget her sucking child that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even though these may forget, yet I will not forget you (49:15).
Compassion in the Bible is about kinship. And in the gospels, Jesus’ kin are his new family of sheep and outcasts, and those like the widow of Nain who’s only son was being carried out. The story goes that “when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Or those like the father of the wayward prodigal who is moved with compassion to readmit his son back into the family circle. Only in Luke does Jesus take the charge found in the Book of Leviticus to be holy because the Lord your God is holy and change it to: You shall be compassionate as your Father is compassionate.” (Luke 6:36) Those in Luke who receive the compassion and healing are the empty ones—the widow who mourns, the prodigal who repents, the prostitute who washes Jesus’ feet. Those running on empty can be filled – they are in a much stronger position to receive Christ than those of us who think we are all filled up.
The article is beautiful Helen. So is the image of Jesus’ “family” of outcasts. Thanks for sharing this!
Thank you so much to everyone who has posted in radical acts. I’ve them so inspiring and full of ideas to take with me each day :)
Last year, on the night before my final day of high school, i was given the opportunity to befriend several people who would be considered undesirable, or at least given the situation unapproachable. I had recently experienced a beautiful healing of ongoing depressive cycles of thought and resulting anxiety about my academic progress at school. Through this experience I had gained a truer sense of spiritual Love and a much more spiritually centered sense of happiness.
I wanted so badly to share this love and joy with others. So excited by my renewed sense of happiness and the prospect of my final day of school I stayed up, until about 1:30 am, when I decided I should ride down to the beach to calm my thought and then come home and go to sleep. On my way home, as I was about to turn onto my street it came to me quite strongly that I should continue on into town. Not far down the road I met a woman sitting on a bench near the local hospital. She had been to visit her husband, a patient in the hospital. She had been given a 24 hour bus pass at a time when no buses were running. After chatting with her for a few minutes I noticed her foot was in a cast. Given her situation it was clear that she needed a lift home. I had only my bike. So I went to a near by atm to get out the money for a taxi. A taxi came by within minutes. She was so grateful and expressed her thanks very warmly. I have since found indigenous Australians in direct contradiction to stereotypes so often are very warm hearted. When I payed the taxi driver, I realised that I already had enough money for the taxi in my wallet. Rather than going home I felt directed to continue further into town.
There I met a couple Jim and Ginny, who were also indigenous. They were sitting in the shelter of shop front. As I talked with them I found I was really enjoying their company, in spite of their drunkenness. We talked for quite a while and I learned quite a lot about them. They were from a remote community in Northern Australia. Jim, Ginny’s husband talked sorrowfully about how the land was once theirs (indigenous Australian’s) but now ruined by white Australian development. I’m so glad we were able to have such a friendly and respectful conversation in spite of my being a white Australian. I loved that I could talk with them totally normally, as equals without being conscious, personally, of the boundaries of class or ethnicity. It was getting very late 3:30 by this time so I asked if they would also like a taxi home.
Amusingly the next taxi that came by was driven by the same man who had driven the woman from the hospital home. I asked him how much it would cost to drive them home and the need was met exactly by the money left over from previously. They too expressed genuine gratitude. This really showed me the omniscience of God, putting me in the right place at the right time with exactly what I needed to help others, which in turn made me feel valuable and loved. Although I didn’t share Christian Science with these people, both interactions were filled with Love and joy and allowed me to treat all three people with the respect they deserved. It showed me the qualities that God made me to express, and how deeply satisfying it is to follow God’s loving direction.
The next day, in spite of only 3 hours sleep I felt invigorated and was able to enjoy all the celebrations of my final school day, without a hint of fatigue to pull me down. Which proves that we can’t be penalized for following God’s direction and giving to others.
“What blesses one blesses all”
This is so beautiful! I still tell stories today of people who have reached out to help me at moments like this. Like the time I pulled into a gas station far from home and realized I didn’t have my wallet. I walked from person to person just begging — how humbling! — and will never forget the two men whose generosity got me home. The impression of LOVE just will not quit. Bet those three people are still talking about you today . . . .
Brother Nathanael,
You DID share Christian Science with them. You LOVED them. That’s what we do. That’s what we have to share.
Thank you, thank you.
I love you pointed out that, by loving your neighbors, you felt valued and purposeful because you realized you were being used by God. What an awesome way to think about the two great commandments–to love God and love your neighbor as yourself. It gives such a firm foundation for then declaring that “whatever blesses one blesses all”!
This Radical Act has become very dear to me…I’ve learned to befriend myself. I’ve discovered how to be kind to the “me” that had made regrettable decisions by reclaiming those times for God as a laboratory for spiritual growth in grace: compassion, non-judgment, meekness, humility, purity.
I am learning that this is a first step toward really learing how to “bind up the broken-hearted.” Like all acts of Love, in order to love another as we would love ourselves, we need to understand and practice loving ourselves….then we can recognize the signs of broken-heartedness in others and respond in ways that we KNOW (from experience) are comforting, cleansing, healing, and redeeming.
I’ve loved this Radical Act.
I really love this thought you’ve shared here, Kate. Thank you.
This week I have been dealing with summer withdrawals. I am back in school away from my home and friends and in the past every time I have left to go back to school I have gone into mini depressions. However this year I decided I would be grateful for all the beautiful and “desirable” friendships I have.
Until I returned to school……..
Upon returning I was immediately attacked by error. There was a girl who I was previously Friends with who I now feel goes out of her way to get in my business. It hurts my feelings and makes me quite upset. I now find this friend completely undesireable. My initial reaction to her mistreatment of me was to treat her like a leper and not only excommunicate her myself but have others do the same.
This was the complete wrong Idea which I came to understand about 5 minutes after having that evil thought. I have been working all summer with the idea of being genuine. With being genuine I feel that the synonyms are parallel. Therefore I have been working in my daily experience to express life truth love intelligence spirit soul and mind.
Honestly. This ideal expression has not been perfect but what I have realized is that this girl is in tune to the idea of having one mind. This meaning, nothing she can say can have a negative impact on my day. She now goes about her experience and I do mine and we have a balanced relatiknship.
I learned that while I can still befriend the lepers, prostitutes, and undesirables it does not mean I have to spend every waking moment thinking or being with them. Love and friendship can be expressed from near or far.
This summer I made a close friend who had trouble following him where ever he went. I was warned by another friend but decided I would give him a chance. As the summer continued we parted ways, as I travelled abroad and I found out he ended up in jail. It was a tough situation to pray for because in my heart I truly felt this was a good person but his actions continued to demonstrate otherwise. I continued my great summer but felt him in my thoughts often and really prayed that he would be cared for. As the summer has come to a close, I met with this friend again and heard his summer experiences. He explained to me how he found God and is on a solid path. I am so grateful and really felt this was a true demonstration of how radicals acts makes us witness good. This healing was only shown to me through the friendship of someone who seemed to be undesirable.
Thank you all for your humility and love in sharing.
“Love is reflected in love”.
How blessed we all are to have this Demonstrable Science.
May one share with you how every day we are all given the opportunities to demonstrate this wonderfull Science.
Please go to http://www.keytocorrectthinking.com and click onto the vidio of “The Man of the Road”. It is on the Home Page.
It has not been put forward to impress anyone but to impress upon everyone that God is All-in-all.
Have a wonderful adventure.
Love in Christ.
Peter Reichl-Cunningham CS.
A while back, my car broke down and I was in need of a ride to the city. It was after 6 p.m., and I decided to hitch hike into the city, as it appeared to be the only way I could make it back. My car had been taken care of so I difn’t have to concern myself with that. School was starting the next day and so I needed to get back as early as possible. However, the sky was starting to dim after awhile and it was starting to get dark. In this story, I must say that I felt like the undesirable rather than the fellow that ended up picking me up, which I will now talk about. I was praying for myself during that hour waiting on the side of the road. I just am so grateful that I’ve always had a childlike trust and deep conviction that God IS slways present and EVER powerful. I have done many things that might be humanly considered “daring” but I KNOW DEEPLY the meaning of Psalm 91, almost as well as Charles Lightoller and Lawrence Beeseley, the two Christian Scientists who who survived the Titanic’s sinking and told their story,
I had written a sign in large letters, spelling the name of the city that was my intended destination and thought this looked a bit more professional than just standing there with my finger sticking out.
Well, an East Indian man pulled over and offered me a ride. I made note of his Licence plate and agreed to ride with him. He was casually dressed, clean and seemed pleasant. Well after we pulled onto the highway and about 5 minutes into the ride, he asked me if I could do him a favour? I asked him what the favour was. He continued to say that he was from India and needed some help. I asked him to explain. He said, “Well, you are a woman and you could help me.” I waited for him to explain further. He then changed the subject momentarily and said he had to stop at a friend’s place in Squamish, a little less than half way to Vancouver. He said, I hope you don’t mind.” I said that should be fine but then I wondered how long the stop might be. Then he said: “I think I might stay the night in Squsmish, actually. Do you need a ride all the way to Vancouver?” I answered in the affirmative. Then he asked me, “Would you like to stay at a hotel on Squamish with me and then I could drive you back to Vancouver in the morning, in time for you to arrive at school?” I realized he wanted to have sex with me. Then I reasoned: This man really needs to feel divine Love to fill up that emptiness he seems to be feeling in his heart. I was not afraid because I knew that sharing a spiritual sense of Love would touch him in a way he probably had never known before. This was the most satisfying love there could ever be for anyone. I had no thought of his “maleness” or my “femaleness” but I really felt I was like an older sister talking to my brother. I explained a few things to him, very lovingly. I started by saying: “You are one in two hundred! I waited for an hour on that highway and there was constant traffic and about 200 vehicles drove by me! But none of them picked me up – but you did. You’re one in two hundred! Thank you for being so kind and generous.” Then I continued: I have to teach tomorrow morning. It’s the first day of school and I really should get back to Vancouver tonight. I have a friend that lives in Squamidh who I could stay with overnight if I needed to and I can text her to ask her, if I think I need to,” Then he asked directly, “But could you help me out and stay at a hotel with me – it won’t take long and I could drive you to Vancouver in the morning.” I felt calm and assured through all this because I felt God’s presence and I knew He would take care of me and guide me in saying the right thing that would move things towards a successful conclusion. So I told him how I had a 30 year old daughter. He said he thought I looked a lot younger and was surprised. I laughed and said, “You would not have much fun with me, as I don’t do 1 night stands and wouldn’t really respond in a way he might like, as my focus now, in my more mature years is to be spiritual in my thinking. I love to pray and I’m all about spiritual healing. He must have asked me at least a half a dozen times if he could have sex with me in Squamish and each time I lovingly turned the conversation over to a spiritual focus. I said to him, “You know you cannot really find satisfaction through having a 1 night stand. You can ask God to satisfy all your deep needs by turning to Him who is all powerful and accepting of everyone.” Then he appeared to look ashamed. I continued, “No one will gain from a 1 night stand as it won’t bring any good to you or to me. I’d much rather talk to you about spirituality on this drive because I think the ideas I share with you will help more to give you the satisfaction you need. But I am truly grateful you have given me a ride tonight and that makes you a good person.” Soon we arrived in Squamish and I was able to text my friend and she texted back, inviting me to stay the night at her place in Squamish. He dropped me off in a well lit area at the north end of Squamish and I thanked him. I thanked God for “being with my mouth” and listened as to what I should do next. My friend had 2 daughters starting school the next day and I decided to try hitch hiking the rest of the way. I held up my sign under a street light and was picked up immediately by a young fellow from my home town who was driving into the city to see his girlfriend and he was old enough to be my son. I then texted my friend and thanked her for the offer, but that I had another ride now to the city and all was well. I got a ride right to where I needed to be in downtown Vancouver. I am SO GRATEFUL for the peace of mind and the wisdom that Christian Science teaches us. I often think of Psalm 139 when I think of situations like this type of situation. I could be in the middle of the ocean, up a mountain, on a highway in a stranger’s car at night … and even THERE shalt Thou be with me. I spoke to another woman about my experience and her comment was: “What a loser that guy was!” But I have learned in Christian Science that no one is a loser. We love all mankind and don’t hesitate to love every chance we get. This is what truly protects and guides us to do and say the right thing in any situation we face – without any fear or doubt!
I am in the mist of healing one of my Nurse Aides of bullying another Nurse Aide. They are not Christian Scientists but I am and using C/S prayer to resolve the matter. I pray for each of my Aides, 4 of them, 2 for during the day and 2 for during the night. But there is only one who seems to be a bully. This has been going on since Aril 15, 2012. On and off, until yesterday I took control and balled the bully out. Now it is extreamly important to know that evil is neither person, place or thing. Sometimes one has to get tough in situations like this and prayer, taught by studying Christian Science can always help one out of a bad situation. I am submitting this before the demonstration is finally realized based upon Christ Jesus, thanking God before he raised Lazarus from the dead.
This is a great “radical act” to live and one that can be done very simply day to day. It’s awesome to see an instant change in thought: taking away any ideas of “undesirable” and seeing the perfection of God’s child. That’s definitely something I strive to do with anyone that I feel is annoying me. It reminds me to go back and take the “beam out of my own eye”.
Awesome story, thanks Melody!
Some upheaval in my family has got me thinking about things like befriending undesirables, and washing feet. There have been strained relationships in my family for years, and in the last few months, some of the hardness has begun to crack. I have begun to see that a person I thought I was being nice to, I was actually disrespecting. Of course things had been strained! It’s amazing to me to see how my mistakes can be invisible to me, until I see them. I was consciously trying to be good to her, but all the while there was this belief that she was bad in one way or another. I’m so glad I have seen the mistake I was making because it allowed me to repent of the thought and to apologize. I can already feel the situation (which had been strained for so long!) getting warmer. That feeling is irreplaceable, and could not be brought about by anything but Love.
A friend and I were travelling around Venice beach. Venice beach is a place were many impoverished people come together and sell their art and just hangout. Its a fun place to be because there are so many unique people coming together to create a dynamic street experience. However, sometimes people can be in your face and it makes people feel uncomfortable. My friend Steph and I love this place, we love watching the street performers and always bring extra change to hand out.
This last experience was quite different for us. We don’t talk to the people we give our spare change to, we just keep walking. But one man had written a funny sign and so we laughed and somehow a conversation sparked. We learned he was a former comedian and spent time with him laughing and becoming friends. We spent almost the entire day together. When we had to head home, he said goodbye and this man was so sincere. He looked us straight in the face and said the time that we gave to him ment so much more than gathering change and sitting on the street side. We both felt overwhelmed by his sincerity and we realized that just five minutes of friendship is so powerful.
Isn’t it great to be able to know and feel that there are never any “undesirables”? What unselfish sharings all around..thanks to all. I can relate to almost all of Kate’s story in this thread though work commitments etc were a protection during that time for me as they keptme out and about. Still, being truly “seen” and valued for the genuine loveI have to the world by a friend at that time was an angel! Now, I realize that I like to be alert to how I can be there for others this way..and of course, prayer is always available to “give” in the loving of God’s children. SO glad for this Science. I may be back to share more later, friends. : )
This summer while I’ve been living this radical act, I found myself in Germany with two local girls both of whom I loved immediately. I was with my best friends and they were together and we were all looking to go to the same place but got lost on the trains for two hours. But while most people would be frustrated with being late and lost, the four of us were having the best time getting to know one another. After finding the location we separated but hoped to get together again the next night. The night had been so much fun but I had found it odd that one of the girls kept talking about what the definition of a slut was and how she thought girls should be allowed to do whatever they wanted. I didnt really think to much of it at the time though, I just would start talking about other things.
The next night we only met up with one of the girls because the other had gone off with a group of guys. My best friend and I didnt understand why she didnt want to be with us, but we had fun anyways. However being in a city, there are only so many streets to walk and we suddenly ran into the girl who had gone off with the boys. She was almost unable to walk she was so drunk and she was bragging about how she kissed one of the boys. When she introduced me to the boy she had been kissing, I was fearful. He was not the kind of people I am normally attracted to and the people I was with had walked away because it was a “fight or flight situation”. My group could see me from around the corner but I didnt know why I was stuck by myself with a drunk girl in fear of the five guys surrounding us. I couldn’t understand what they were all saying and I did not want to be where I was. But at the same time of feeling all this fear, I liked this girl. Whatever she was, a slut, prude, prostitute, goody-tu-shoes, whatever she was I had wanted to hangout with her and had loved getting to know her the night before. So I was kind to the boys and asked them if they wanted help getting home. Two left immediately, one walked down the street to get a cab and suddenly it was my friend and one other guy who spoke English fluently. I asked the group of friends I was with to help me assist them in getting to the nearest metro station and they got on their trains to go home. I was grateful that everyone who had created such a tense situation for me dispersed to their right places so quickly. They were undesirable to me and had put me in a position that I didnt want to be in but once I decided to see if I could help a friend, only good displayed itself.
Although I have never had to sell my body to pay my bills, or navigate my days with the outward appearance of a contagious disease, I do know what it feels like to be treated as an “undesirable.”
When you know that there is something about you, your choices, or your past that makes other’s feel that they have a justification for avoiding you, it makes you feel small and hopeless…you begin to shrink in on yourself.
That is what began to happen to me at a time in my life when I’d made choices that others felt were questionable. I began to not only dissect…pick apart and examine, my once clear motives, but to doubt whether I had really heard God’s voice in directing my steps (something I was absolutely sure of when I’d taken the path in question), I wondered whether I even deserved the respect, or kindness, of others.
Before long I didn’t want to leave my house, or answer the phone. Not because I was afraid of rejection, but because I started to accept that I was unworthy of being treated with respect. It happened so quickly. One day I thought I was in synch with God, and the next I wondered if I was delusional.
It was about this time that I absolutely HAD to go to a place where I’d recently experienced rejection and dismissiveness repeatedly.
As I navigated the place that only months before had been full of warmth and acceptance, but has recently felt cold and angry I kept my head down, making a b-line for my destination.
That was when I heard someone call to me. It was someone who I’d known only casually in the past. She called to me again and then hurried over to ask, “How are you? Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” There was no presumption of guilt, no expectation that I needed to explain myself….just pure, sweet, genuine loving kindness.
She wasn’t afraid that by befriending me she was casting her vote in approval of my choices. She didn’t act like she was “taking my side” either. She was just being true to her own unconditional, impartial, loving nature.
Her kindness was the first warmth I had felt for weeks and weeks…and it began to thaw the sorrow in my heart so that I could begin to heal, transform, and open my heart again.
She taught me that Love is the most powerful force in the universe. And that every time we think we need to teach someone something by refusing to love them…we fail to teach them anything about God, about good. Love is the only teacher. When we express love, unconditionally and without judgment, we help someone open their heart to the government of divine Love.
By befriending me when I felt most “undesirable” my friend (and she is a true friend) taught me one of the most valuable lessons of Love…how to be an unconditional, impartial, universal, scientific Christian in the most practical sense of the word.
She saved my life in ways that I will never be able to explain in mere words…
It reminds me of Paul’s credo: “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Nothing could separate her from her right to BE the love of God in action. And therefore in her heart I felt the truth of:
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”
She wasn’t looking at me to tell her how she could act…how to walk towards my need…but after the Spirit of her own nature as the reflection of a Love that radiates and glows from within (not waiting for permission from without…whether from someone’s behavior, explanation, or apology).
I want to be like her when I grow up!!
thanks dear friend…
Great story Tamara. It seems like crossing lines – social, political, economic, cultural – gives great opportunity for new and transforming things to happen.
For several years I have had a desire to understand the political ideologies that are different from the ones where I have felt at home. The world presents vicious division and little by little I couldn’t stomach it anymore. I wanted to hear the reasonable explanations that bring people to these beliefs.
It was not the kind of conversation I could just MAKE happen. I wanted to talk with folks who wouldn’t mind my simple questions, and who wouldn’t bristle or get defensive because of them.
Blessedly, this year, I have found myself in a couple of conversations like this. In both cases, I was far from home, and found myself in conversations with people whose politics were very very different from my own. In both cases, I was met with reasonable, intelligent arguments, and a great desire to share what each one truly believed was the most effective way to approach our nation’s problems. SO different from the name-calling, stiffness, and black-and-white framing that we find in public politics.
In years past I have felt strongly “correct” about particular political ideas. More recently, I am much more interested in the intelligence and heart that bring people to different approaches. And, I also found that in these conversations, my beliefs were changed here and there. Which, to be honest, feels great. It’s wonderful to be free to think and believe whatever seems best, and not be bound to a party line.
Hi, Alex, cool what you wrote about politics! I’m trying to achieve that same freedom in relation to political parties that you described. But I have to admit that this is still a bit challenging for me.
One of the points I always thought essentiall regarding politics is the tolerancetoward those whose opinions, practices, religion, sexuality, nationality, race, etc., differ from one’s own.
But by thinking more deeply about it I realized that I had (and may still having some) great difficulty in being tolerant about intolerant ideologies, intolerant political parties or intolerant people. That brought a big dilemma for me, apparently indissoluble: if tolerance is a fundamental quality for me, how can I practice tolerance regarding the intolerant? Why is it easier for me to recognize that a prostitute is actually a spiritual idea, than to recognize the same fact about an intolerant?
But in recent times I have realized that only a more radical and spiritual perspective can resolve this dilemma. I don’t have to tolerate error, regardless of how it manifests itself humanely. And the very idea of tolerance is gradually acquiring a new meaning for me: express respect for those who seem different from me is a way to recognize their divine filiation, is a way of expressing love and recognize the presence of Love. This has nothing to do with accepting or tolerating error.
This may allow me to get to the point that you arrived: being able to talk, listen and be open to hear different points of view. Maybe I come to the conclusion that even those who I consider intolerant are not so intolerant as I thought ;-)
I don’t know if someone already said this in the comments about the other radical acts, but this all makes me think that the definition of a radical act is always a matter of perspective. The more our thoughts and our actions are aligned with the infinite and unlimited Mind, less radical our actions will seem, for Love – the core of radical acts – will be the norm rather than the exception.
I love this: The more our thoughts and our actions are aligned with the infinite and unlimited Mind, less radical our actions will seem, for Love - the core of radical acts - will be the norm rather than the exception.
Beautiful thought here Tamara. It’s all about perspective. Reminds me of a song called “think different” by Nujabes, “Is the glass half full or half empty? It’s based on your perspective, quite simply. We’re the same, no we’re not, what I’m saying, listen: “I’m not better than you, I just think different.”
Five years ago my husband and I decided to sell our apartment in a middle-class residential district of Sao Paulo (Brazil) and buy an apartment in downtown. This decision was based, among other reasons, in our desire to encourage a movement of recovery of an historically and architecturally important area of the city, that as the centers of some other metropolises in the world, had undergone a strong process of degradation. Another reason for our move was the desire to sell our car as way to encourage the use of public transportation. At that moment I had the support of a Christian Science practitioner to purify our motives and pave the way for this new stage of our lives. Almost immediately we found an apartment that supplied all our needs, and neither my husband nor I had any doubt that this would be the best decision to be taken.
The biggest change we faced after our move was going to live with a very eclectic neighborhood that includes what many would classify as “undesirable”: prostitutes, transvestites, etc. Having these people as neighbors means sharing public spaces with them: shop in the same supermarkets, take our dogs for walks in the same squares, take Sunday breakfast in the same bakery, etc. At these moments, interactions happen all the time!
Although I don’t agree with many actions taken by these people, I feel that my role as a Christian Scientist is not judge them or try to correct their behavior. Because I think they are already judged enough. But my role is to love and recognize their value. My role is to recognize the desirable where human senses often see “undesirable”. I think from the beginning my husband and I were ready for this interaction with this new neighborhood and I feel that the more I treat them without judgment but with love, the easier it is to realize that we have things in common and we are part of an universal family.
Although there is still much to be done, many good changes happened in my neighborhood in the last five years. People from different backgrounds are choosing to live here, the movement for restoration of the downtown is growing and the “undesirable” is increasingly being transformed into desirable.
I traveled to Europe to visit one of my best friends from high school and was looking so forward to catching up and seeing her. However upon arriving she was going a mile a minute and had no time to spare. It was so frustrating I questioned why I had come. She became so undesirable because she was overworking and over scheduling herself. She had no time to enjoy anything that was happening around her. I had really missed my friend and was hoping for some time together but after the first couple of days I gave up on her and didn’t even try. Human will had taken over my thought and I was consumed with the idea that if she didn’t want to hangout with me than neither did I. HOW SELFISH!
Thank goodness after those first couple of days we had church! We went to a GERMAN church, for some ignorant reason I thought it would all be in English but the messages were the same. What my interpretation was on the lesson was finding peace amongst the madness. I realized that I was not at peace with my friend, or her busy schedule. I also recognized in an after church discussion that she wasnt at peace with her busy schedule either! Once we both let go of all the material time and stress that was being put on scheduling we were able to find time to spend together and had a wonderful last few days.
I learned that people are not undesirable but the mind can persuade us to think they are. When we give our thought to the power of good, only good can be revealed.
So I have been considering this Radical Act a lot recently, and I am having some challenges. I guess I feel like there is a certain set or perhaps “look” of people that are considered undesirables, and there are also the folks who are undesirables to each of us individually for whatever reason, even if it seems like a perfectly good reason. So my challenge is, I want to go deeper but I’m not super sure how.
Like, the other day, these dudes had run out of gas and were pushing their car off the main road onto the street right in front of my house. I know that for some, these guys might have been “undesirables” – clothing style, tattoos, conversation overheard as I pulled up behind them on my bike – but, I have tattoos, my clothing isn’t all that awesome, and I have no idea what the backstory of their conversation was…anyways, my point is, it never occurred to me NOT to help them out. I helped them push their car out of the street and invited them to come up to my house and have some water while they waited for their buddy. It was a neat opportunity to be kind and to share some good and we had a pleasant conversation and shared some laughs. It was only this morning that I realized that maybe this was a Radical Act of Befriending Undesirables…
But it didn’t feel like it was, and I’m not posting this as a Radical Acts Story. What I’m posting for, is because I am not sure how to go deeper into honestly living this act when I don’t know who I would consider undesirable. Sure, there are folks who I meet at game nights or downtown conversations or whatever that I don’t feel like immediately inviting over for dinner – but that’s just because a) I didn’t feel inspired to do so and b) there was not really a connection or a need there or something. But I love talking with whoever and seeing who they are, so maybe the purpose of this Radical Act just isn’t that big a deal for me…
But I have a hard time believing that. I can always live more fully and freely and bear witness to God’s great work.
The challenge that comes up for me is, rather than breaking through uncomfortableness with other folks, for me it’s knowing how to respectfully and lovingly carry on a conversation or meeting with someone who appears to view ME as an undesirable. This has mostly come up in conversations of an ecumenical nature, actually, and not socially. I know perfectly well that if I’m willing to give someone some attention, respect, and love, it’s good for everybody – but how do I proceed if I feel like I’m the undesirable, and they have no desire to see me differently? Can I start a mini-hijack of this conversation and see what folks think about this aspect of Befriending Undesirables? Because I don’t want to slip into the mindset of “That dude clearly ignores me and who I am, so I’m just going to ignore them” but if they WANT me to ignore them…I guess I can just keep loving them and trusting to see how we can effectively interact, even if no “stories” come out of it for me to post any time soon?
Hopefully you see my question after all this muddle :-) As soon as I submit this, I’ll be emailing a pastor of a local church who I’ve been recommended to because of his ability to listen and share confidently. I’ll be asking him if we can meet to chat about ways he has successfully engaged with others in ecumenical and interfaith conversations, and how I can strive to do the same. In the past couple months I haven’t had super successful or effective interactions with pastors or active workers in other churches – they seem to latch on to the differences between my faith and theirs and don’t want to engage in conversation. So any support would be welcome as I strive to keep trying to befriend and not see myself as an undesirable.
Hope this fits in the flow of this conversation.
Thanks!
John, I love the thought process in all this. I think you’re right: we can always go higher in Radical Thinking!
While I was reading your post, I was reminded of Jesus’ words in the Gospel of Matthew, “Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.”
It seems that he is warning against dwelling in the idea of an “adversary” because it can enslave us, or cast us “into prison”.
Mrs. Eddy expands on this idea: “Suffer no claim of sin or of sickness to grow upon the thought.” In this case it’s the claim that there is an adversary. “Dismiss it with an abiding conviction that it is illegitimate, because you know that God is no more the author of sickness than He is of sin.”
So it seems to me that this radical act may offer us an opportunity to eradicate entirely the idea that others, or that we, can be undesirable in anyway… so we can move on to seeing life as God has created it.
John, you’ve probably already read this before, but Luke 14:13-14 comes to mind. Have you already seen a YouTube video about Jean Vanier, founder of L’Arche (an international non-profit that creates communal homes for people with disabilities)? If not, check it out — it just might inspire some ideas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eldz3uNsmv4
Amen! How beautiful that change in thought is! How humble!
I had a related experience once, although rather than being an “untouchable” it was rather an “unsmellable”.
I was scheduled to participate in an event beside a man mwho never NEVER seemed to wash or change his clothes. Being near him was a trial, and I was wondering how I would be able to make it through three house beside him. Several solutions passed through my mind, not the smartest of which was to catch a cold so as not to be able to smell him…
Then I realized I could pray.
The story of the man living in the tombs came to mind, how after a brief conversation with Jesus he had been found “clothed and in his right mind”. I felt somehow that this could apply to this man too. So I mentally listed all his qualities–intelligence, a great sense of humor, generosity and the like. I thought that in Mind he could be only correctly clothed and clean.
And guess what? When the event came along, there he was, smelling of–nothing! Clean, hair washed, shirt changed,(I complimented him on his new shirt) and the following day he even sported a suit.
As we parted,I reached out and patted him on the shoulder, a gesture I never would have thought possible.
Was I grateful? You bet. For the physical improvement sure, but especially for the spiritual perspective gained–and retained.
wow!
Oh, I don’t know about that. Sure, they might not know how much it meant to you, but the know or sure what it meant to them! They might not remember your name or your story, but that love of Love is so powerful that it can’t be felt on only one side. That has been my experience, anyway. There is a wonderful side effect from loving someone – you simply never forget it. :)
So good, Alex. So moving. I think those are “leper-cleansing” touches. It is about breaking out of self-limiting fear and me-thoughts, to be a transparency for pure and purifying love. Whether one is on the giving or receiving end of such a touch, the love is unforgettable.
Recently I have been recounting some stories like this, where someone did something in my life, and really made a difference. In remembering them, I have realized, “I bet almost none of these folks know how deeply they touched me! How big a difference they made in that little moment in the distant past!”
But the memories of those times are crystal clear in my thoughts, and I feel so grateful for them, like angels. It’s powerful how Love, lived in the world, sends out ripples of confidence that last for decades.
Michelle, that is so beautiful. It is amazing what a touch can do, and the love that lies behind it.
Many years ago in the hours after I had found that someone very close to me had unexpectedly passed on, some friends were driving me to the home of some close family members. I sat in the passenger side of the car, in the front seat. Behind me was a young woman who was an acquaintance but who I didnt know well. I was dazed by the recent news, but doing my best to recognize the presence of Love. At some point during that drive, the woman who was sitting behind me took my hand in hers and held it. She didn’t ask, or show any uncertainty. And with that, I KNEW that Love was present and REAL. This woman had the courage to disregard any fear that it might be too forward, or any other such self-consciousness, and simply did what I can only guess, she felt was a good thing to do. And was it ever. Her willingness to do what the still small voice in her heart told her, initiated an explosion of spiritual vision for me.
In the following days I had a TOTAL healing of grief and fear about death, and emerged from that experience a very different, and better man.
I don’t have any idea where that wonderful woman is. Havent seen her in years, and don’t even know her last name. But her courage to express love and go to the heart of the problem with a comforting touch, changed everything.
Just got the post up focusing on this “radical act”. You will find it at http://www.michellenanouchecsb.com/4/post/2012/07/radical-act-of-jesus-befriend-undesirables.html
Hi Michelle,
Thanks so much for sharing that blog post with us! The experience and the way you tell the story weaving with the background of “Little Town of Bethlehem” reminds us all of where God chose to reveal his Christ to us – in a manger, in the cold, away from the bright lights of the world, and in the meekness of material poverty, but the wealth of grand spiritual riches.
Jesus certainly never forgot where he came from, didn’t he? Me mustn’t either. And your post is a beautiful reminder of that.
I love this one. And every one of these comments and stories is precious and valuable. I am going to link to this question and its response today on my blog. I hope everyone who reads it will come and see what amazing thinking and radical living and loving you are all engaging in.
About ten years ago I was scheduled to lecture in Vero Beach, Florida. Sunday morning before the lecture, I attended a the a local church. As we rose to sing, a homeless man entered the sparcely-filled auditorium. Looking around, he spotted me sitting on my own and made a bee-line to sit next to me.
It was clearly his first time in this church. I helped him with the hymnal and showed him how to follow the order of service. A few minutes into the worship, he became very restless and agitated. He smelled strongly of alcohol and appeared to be struggling with withdrawal-like symptoms.
I reached out and took his hand. He became very still as he clutched mine. For the rest of the hour he barely moved. I held his hand for the entire service. At the end, he turned and thanked me, told me he loved me. Then he made his way to the lobby where he was greeted by the church members.
Meeting this man was a gift.
I thought about his courage. He broke through the resistance to attend a service at a church he had never visited before – to leave the bottle and his shopping cart full of his belongings outside, to enter even though he was unbathed and didn’t know what type of reception he might receive.
This man entered the church, sat next to me and gave me the gift of his presence. He loved me and gave me an opportunity to love him right back. His expression of charity – coming into church through the door of faith, and pushing past any resistance to share that service with me – changed forever how I think of loving one’s neighbor, and of touching the “untouchables.”
it has been interesting to me to see that sometimes the stereotype image of “undesirables” is not the one i have trouble loving. in fact, sometimes it’s much easier to love them than other “types” of people. i have been working on loving not the poor and bedraggled, but the rich and seemingly apathetic. that has been much more of a challenge for me, but has been paying off. it was really hard, initially to realize that for a long time i had been thinking of some people as bad, without realizing it was bad to do so. i just thought it was accurate. but i am glad and humbled to have been shown that i was wrong. and now i am learning to take off the label i had put on those people, and the world is opening up to me.
“As mortals gain more correct views of God and man,
multitudinous objects of creation, which before were
invisible, will become visible.” MBE
Hey Anonymous!
I’m very much the same way! It’s so easy for me to relate with society’s misfits and homeless, – the thinkers and the heaven-sent as I see them.
Thank you for sharing your growth with us here in the community. It is beautifully inspired and is touching hearts here.
:)
I absolutely LOVE this comment! It’s one of the first I’ve seen that shows a Radical Act in process — instead of a perfect, completed testimony. I hope this comment will give others the courage to share their questions, feelings, journeys. Isn’t that what brings this site alive and really connects us with one another?
Hi everyone. I started reading this blog and chain of responses this morning (more than an hour ago!) with the intention of contributing in some way, but it has become clear that I needed to read it in order to gain. Thank you all so much for these wonderful stories and examples. As I get ready to leave town tonight and be on the road for about 24 hours, I am so excited about the people I am bound to meet in this journey. I am so inspired to go out and see everyone as God’s idea, giving and receptive.
I will be back to read more stories and ideas later on. And thank you all again for sharing… that’s really all I can say.
Gordon, that is so touching. Love transforms. Thanks so much for opening up.
There is an older man who attends our branch church religiously even though he is not a member. He is there every Sunday morning and every Wednesday night. Yet, it’s readily apparent that there’s something just a bit off with this man. I couldn’t tell if it was just age, or mental illness, or what, but it was clear just from his social development that something seemed abnormal. As time went on, this was only confirmed, as once or twice he would even stand up during the Wednesday evening testimony times to talk about how he wishes Christian Science could heal him of his mental illness, and feels like he spends all of his days battling, mentally, with “the devil.”
One Sunday morning, probably over a year ago now, another church member asked me if I would be willing to drive over to this older man’s house to pick him up and give him a ride to church. I learned that the friend calling me, along with two others, regularly picked this man up and drove him to church, as he does not have his own transportation. However this particular Sunday none of them were available, so he was wondering if I could step up to help out. I gladly agreed.
I wasn’t really sure what to talk about, but I am in the habit of listening to Christian Science audiobooks whenever I drive. At this point in time I was going through one of my “read-throughs” (listen-throughs?) of Science and Health. So, in lieu of actually having any real conversation, I just let that play over my car radio as I drove him to church. It seemed like the simple option.
This started happening more frequently, as apparently this man liked it when I drove him to church. So he started calling me directly for rides. And I agreed. Over time, my own walls started to break down a little bit more. I resorted less and less to just letting CS audiobooks in the car play, and started actually having real conversations with him. Now I’ve become this man’s regular driver on Wednesday nights.
Sometimes it’s been a challenge to not see him as an “undesirable.” At my Association meeting this year my teacher pointed out that a common belief that comes with aging is the belief that people become less significant, less cared about, and forgotten over time. But that is a belief that can and must be conquered by Love.
Yet, just the simple conversations we have in the car, as well as some other fellowship we share, have been showing me more and more just how profoundly special this older man is. He’s asked me a couple times now if, after church, we could go to McDonald’s to get Sundaes. He really loves McDonald’s Sundaes. So we’ve done that now, a couple of times, and we have good conversations. Well, actually sometimes we don’t really say all that much, but I think just being there with a friend makes him feel valued.
He is a man that most of society — and at times even our own church members — might see, consciously or not, as being insignificant. But he’s told me about how he served in the military. (Actually, to be honest, he doesn’t talk much about that.) How he used to play trumpet. How he has regrets over being too focused on chasing girls as a young man. How he regularly watches, and loves, the Milwaukee Brewers. How he sponsors a couple of children over in Africa. How his brother comes to visit him once and month and they get spare ribs at Famous Dave’s — his favorite restaurant. He always laughs as he explains that his brother always pays for it.
And just last night he was telling me about how, for the first time, he brought his girlfriend with him to Famous Dave’s to meet his brother. I had no idea he had a girlfriend! And judging by the way some of the women at church had spoken about him, I assumed he probably never would. I don’t remember her name, but he explained that his girlfriend was a woman he had known for over 20 years now, an ex-prostitute. He talked about her so sweetly. He explained that she had a lot of regrets about that former lifestyle, but how she really was a sweet person. He talked about the importance of loving the sinner while hating the sin.
Anyways, a little while ago I hatched a plan. Every time you fill up a tank of gas at the local BPs (gas stations) here, you can get a stamp on a card. Seven stamps gets you a free ticket to a Milwaukee Brewers game. So I’m going for 14 stamps so I can get two tickets to this man to a Brewers game in September. I’ve got five already. I’ve told him about this and he’s really looking forward to it! Mrs. Eddy says that charity starts at home, so for me this has been a great opportunity to find someone right here, at home, who has been given that label of “undesirable” and reach out to them. And it’s rewarding!
Brother Gordon,
This is really beautiful. Thank you for your sharing and your goodness. My favorite part of this sharing, though, is how your love had to be patient. Just like Paul talks about in I Corinthians 13. I’m striving to have more patient love myself. Thank you, brother.
So what happens when the “undesirable” is the Christian on a street corner yelling out verses from his Holy Bible?
I was walking home today and out of the corner of my eye I saw a guy, about my age, holding a huge Bible. He commented on my hat with big letters that read: LIFE.
“What kind of Life do you have?” he asked as I walked by.
“The only life we can have – infinite Life from the Father-Mother!”
He gave me a cold stare.
“Father and Mother? What are you talking bout? Are you into that new age stuff?”
The tone was really hostile. My first thought was to get all high and mighty about why I knew God was a Mother as much as a Father and, to tell you the truth, I started to. Then I realized I was with a brother, a child of God, and it didn’t matter the name of what we worshipped.
Soon another man joined the conversation and he picked up on the conversation.
“It’s about the head of the household, the man. Scripture says a woman belongs at home, obedient to the man, Eve was the one the serpent used to bring about the fall.”
As this conversation started, I had to immediately shift my thought from judging and getting angry to seeing through the veneer of dogma and misogyny and take it higher. I wanted to see God’s womanhood expressed through these two men. Their gentleness and their kindness and their love for God.
As I zoned out a bit to do make these mental affirmations, suddenly I heard,
“So it wasn’t that Eve was a woman. It was that she was inexperienced. She was 2,000 years younger than Adam, you know.”
This comment just totally cracked me up. I couldn’t help bursting out in laughter. And as I did, for the first time I looked in the eyes of the man who had joined the conversation. They were dark, yet sparkling. These were eyes that showed the light of the Holy Spirit.
So I asked if I could see the Bible and I read a few verses from the 1st chapter of Ephesians that end with this: “That in the dispensation of the fullness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him” (Ephesians 1:10).
At that the man who joined wishes us well and left, and we began talking again. The street preacher started asking me more about what I thought of certain religious points, and as the conversation went on I began to see the most beautiful, sincere, child-like man in front of me sharing questions and answers that showed he really, really was searching for an intimate relationship with God.
Another man came up and joined our conversation and spoke briefly. We all realized we were from completely different churches. But it didn’t matter. We experienced a real fellowship there.
Then it came to me to share a rap that I recorded for this site, “Suppertime” right there for this young man. It was, really, the only thing I had to outwardly give. When I finished he was so grateful and so interested in learning more about my thoughts on preaching the gospel mentally, through the way we think about others, including those on the streets, without even having to use words!
I showed him Mark 16: 15-17, “preach the gospel to every creature…speak with new tongues” which I’ve always interpreted as meaning mentally channeling God’s thoughts of good towards others.
When I finished sharing, this young man was completely transformed. I told him that he didn’t need to be burdened by his preaching, that Christ’s burden is light, and that the greatest way we can preach the gospel is through our joy and love for life.
Funny how sometimes we get called to preach to the preachers, huh? But the real preaching is love. And that’s something we all want to hear.
Are the “undesirables” we befriend always human?
One day last year I glanced out the window and saw a rat scurrying toward the house along an old grape arbor. Shocked, repulsed, fascinated, I watched it go back and forth. What’s it doing? I wondered. What’s in its mouth?
Uh-oh. Baby rats.
I ran outside and spotted a hole into the attic. Then frantically called the friend who owns the house, who called an exterminator. These were roof rats, notoriously hard to evict, and dangerous because they gnaw electrical wire.
Sudden flashback to my last encounter with rats -- a gory, costly three-year war that finally ended (for me at least) when I sold that house.
Once I stopped hyperventilating, though, another thought occurred to me. There was something undeniably beautiful about the display of mother-love I’d just witnessed. Like . . . God’s love. Soon I could feel it all the way down to my toes: God mother-loving me, the rat, her umpteen babies -- even my friend whose wiring was at stake.
The next day at dawn, I heard a loud crash. The grape arbor had collapsed. Fine with me, since it blocked sunlight from that side of the house. Mama Rat had lost her easy bridge, so she soon chewed her way out of the attic…into the house. I slept fitfully after that, with bright lights on, and often needed to return to that sense of God loving us all.
Meanwhile, bait disappeared from the traps, but there were no fatalities. The exterminators scratched their heads. Reset the traps. Softened by all that thought about God, I silently cheered for the rats.
Then one day I realized we’d established a sort of détente. I heard them overhead, but they never entered the house again. When the babies were grown, they vanished. The exterminators couldn’t understand it. They’d never seen roof rats leave on their own.
A workman hauled off the remains of the grape arbor. Sunlight flooded that side of the house. Remembering the interminable rat wars, years ago, I had to laugh. It was all so crazy before I knew the mother-love of God.
What a great story, Nina!
It inspires me to start from a spiritual perspective with ALL my daily challenges.
I had a really interesting encounter with an age-mate at the train station. I think it might be written on my face that I am easy to approach because no matter how hard I try to hide behind dark sunglasses, head phones and a poker face — strangers always approach me while I am in the city. As I walked in to get my train ticket and wait for my train home, this girl approached me. Aside from what seemed to be a weird fashion sense, she looked very normal and I thought it was someone being friendly until she explained that she was homeless and asked for change. My hands were full and I needed to get my ticket first, so I explained this to her but told her to come with me. We then got talking. She told me that it was illegal and risky for her to ask for money at the train station but she needed feminine hygiene products. What else could she do? She expressed her gratitude that I was even talking to her, not many people even stopped to listen to what she said before they dismissed her.
To fill the time while I was sorting through my bag to find my purse, she decided to give me a glimpse of about five minutes into her life. With the words, “Just watch” she was off into the crowd approaching various groups of people and asking for help with each of them not sparing her a second, or even a smile. Each time she’d look back at me with a look that said, “See what I am talking about?” and I would laugh or smile and nod. At some point, a lady in a group that she had approached noticed the interaction between the two of us and looked at me a little confused.
I didn’t get to learn my new friend’s name but I got to share in her spirit for a few minutes. She was homeless, depending on strangers’ goodwill. But she wasn’t bitter. What I got from her was an ease about life. She wasn’t stressed out, she wasn’t bitter about how other people treated her. I was so distracted and impressed; I forgot I had just bought some fast food which I could have offered her. I felt so terrible for that oversight.
I didn’t do anything extraordinary. As a matter of fact I feel that she was there to help me more than I her. Every once in a while I think about her and I hope that she’s well and knows that God is looking over her, protecting her and loving her.
It is so strengthening to read these stories of walls broken down. It is really happening, on Earth, here and now. I’m so grateful to read these.
it is amazing.
About a year ago I got a call from someone in New Jersey about two prisoners that had transfered from maximum security in New Jersey to maximun security in Philadelphia. They wanted to receive a subscription to the Sentinel, but first someone needed to visit them before the magazine would be allowed in. Would I go? I had done prison work in Eugene with youth, so I said ok, knowing that the work here in Philly was probably alot different than the work in Eugene, Oregon. It took a few weeks for me to pass through all the loops, but finally the day came for me to go.
I easily passed through to the holding tank. I was escorted to a small room with two chairs and a table to wait for my friend. There were window on each side so I could see into the visitors room. I admit it, I was a little timid about this venture, but as I looked onto the families throught the glass I thought “there isn’t a person here who I wouldn’t gladly meet with”. As I sat in the room I thought about how each and every person in that jail had a spiritual identity. They had the ability to know that identity and also love that identity because each was crated by God.
Well, after about 45 minutes of waiting, two guards brought a man in a complete body harnass. And he was there to see me. They unlocked the harness, opened the door, let him in, and closed the door.
I admit it. My first thoughts were “you’re shutting the door and leaving me alone in this room?” But I knew I was there for a spiritual purpose. So I focused, not allowing a single thought to enter my head except the Truth about this man from God himself. We talked a few minutes and he wanted to pray. He sat across from me at the table. I closed my eyes to start to pray and the thought came to me very strongly to open my eyes. Just then, he was lunging toward me. I have no idea where the strength came from. But our eyes met, and my eyes said sit back down and I knew he would obey. As he sat down, he relaxed and said “sometimes I feel so spiritual. And other times I don’t.”
Inside I smiled and I told him we all feel that way. He may have a bit of a bigger mountain to climb, but with God he could do it. His whole demeaner changed. He became humble, honest, repentent.
After about 1/2 hour we parted and he thanked me for coming. Not too long after that he was moved again so we lost touch, but I was so greatful to see that the Christ loves all and anyone can respond to it’s touch.
A couple years ago I was visiting family in South Africa. They have a big farm and a lot of workers who are mostly Xhosa but probably some Zulu as well. Anyways, at first my interactions with them were limited to work day schedules of whatever we all happened to be doing that day. One day, I asked if they ever had any soccer or other sports gatherings, and I was very enthusiastically told “Yes!” I asked if I might be able to join, and I was immediately told “No!” I didn’t understand immediately, but soon realized it was because they didn’t want to play soccer with their boss’ relative, and were also not thrilled about playing with a guy with such a lighter skin tone than they. In this case, I was the undesirable – and it felt weird.
I realized I had several options. I could continue to only have the limited and ‘professional’ interactions with them that I had been having. I could get angry and storm off in a righteous anger of “That’s what’s wrong with this country! No one will forgive or let go of the past!” I could ask my uncle to try and make them let me play. Or I could just let the hurt go and keep on reaching out and engaging with the workers whenever I had the opportunity.
My cousin didn’t understand why I was putting time into getting to know the workers and trying to learn some Afrikaans, but that was alright. I didn’t have to convince anyone else! I just needed to be honest about who I was and how I could love.
A couple weeks later I was just out reading on the lawn, and a friend I’d made ran past and seeing me, stopped to ask if I would join them for their soccer match – they were short a few players. I was so excited! I ran with him to get my shoes and joined in for a really fun game against another farm team. The team captain even said he would like me to join the team – and he took the time to give me the gift of telling me that they wanted to keep playing with them because they liked me and they liked how I played – they were not ‘giving in’ and letting me play because I was the boss’ nephew.
I realized later that this was really a two-way street. I had been the undesirable in this specific cultural circle, but as a whole, these farm workers were the undesirables in the social context of the farm management. My refusal to give in to the social norms ended up being a light that illuminated and allowed some great friendships and some great times. It allowed them to break past their expectations and for us all to just see each other.
My relation to current times, then, is that I now realize I don’t have to be shy about reaching out. Sometimes I see folks on the street and I am a bit scared or nervous to even say hi, because they ‘look like’ they hang with a pretty different crowd. But maybe – even if I don’t see the impact – maybe my willingness to ignore social norms and treat people like people (or, better yet, like God’s beloved children and my brothers and sisters) will be an illumination that would bless all of us.
I’ll be back to share what I see!
WOW! What a burden is being lifted from my shoulders as I read each of these inspiring, selfless, childlike examples of the Christ-love in action. They remind me of so many examples in my life when I was younger, and how powerful that unconditional childlike love can be to transform lives. As we get older, it is so easy to allow ourselves to feel burdened by a false sense of reponsibility–too many demands on my time, not enough to go around, the frustration and irritaion that come from thinking we’re in control or should be, but aren’t. As I read these examples and think of my own examples from earlier years, the emptiness of worrying about worldly concerns begins to fall away. I’m grateful to everyone who has shared because they have reminded me of how powerful these simple but radical acts have been in my own life and the need to do more of that.
In graduate school one night I was awakened by an obscene phone caller in the middle of the night. This was many years ago when one simply did not hear that kind of language ever! It was frightening and overwhelming. But when I hung up the phone, I realized that I was not the one in need of help, but rather the other person. I vowed never to be caught off guard by a call like that again. I began praying to recognize man’s true identity as God’s precious child, made in the divine image and likeness. A few months later I was again awakened by another obscene phone call,, but this time I responded with absolute peace, tenderness and compassion. I said to him, “You are so loved by God. You are the man of God’s creating–good, pure, upright, intelligent, unselfish, and loved. It is God’s love that satisfies you and you can never be separated from that Love.” I continued sharing healing ideas with this man for perhaps 10 minutes and he just listened very respectfully (I could hear him quietly breathing), and then I told him goodnight, and hung up. That was the end of the obscene calls.
In the house where I lived at graduate school, there were a number of students renting rooms. We were kind of like a family taking meals together. However there was one young woman who wouldn’t talk to anyone. She seemed bitter and full of hate. One day, while we were all standing in the living room, she burst throught the front door and pushed people aside as she moved through the room. Suddenly she came face to face with me and stopped, and then began yelling at me. She told me she hated me and wished I would leave. Without thinking about it, I said to her, “Oh, but I love you and I want to be your friend.” She burst into tears and threw her arms around me. I just held her for a while and then we talked. She said she was so afraid at night and didn’t know what to do. So I shared some ideas with her about God’s love for her and the Bible promise that when she trusts divine Love’s care, then “her sleep shall be sweet.” Soon she began socializing with everyone in the house, and started dating.
As I was finishing law school, I read in the Christian Science Monitor about the plight of mothers who go to prison–it is like a double punishment for them–they serve time and they lose custody of their children. I began talking to judges and prison officials who confirmed this was a serious problem that was not being addressed. I knew God’s tender Mother-love would not abandon these dear women or their children. There must be an answer. So I began praying. Misc. 307:1 says God gives us His spiritual ideas and they in turn give us daily supplies. As I prayed, the answer came in the form of a fully developed idea: a comprehensive rehabilitation program for women offenders and their children–providing counseling for drug and alcohol addiction and domestic violence; financial management; parenting skills; they would finish their GED and be able to continue on at the community college.. At sentencing, we would recommend to judges to send these mothers and their children to our program instead of to prison; we would buy a large home in a nice neighborhood and have a Montessori school for the younger children. However we ran into two obstacles that people around the country told me were insurmountable: 1) foundations wouldn’t fund women prisoner programs; 2) neighborhood associations would fight us at the zoning hearing. We ran into both obstacles.
So I prayed again. “Father these are your children. You love them and you are meeting the needs of the women, the foundations and the neighborhood association. Mrs. Eddy says, “What blesses one, blesses all.” My prayers were answered with ideas. I held a one day conference in my state to explain my program and invited all the foundations to attend. At the end of the day, they all got together and voted on the spot to give me $350,000 for my program. I asked the community association if I could bring some of the women prisoners to their meeting to explain our program and respond to their objections. They agreed to have us come and then they attended the zoning hearing but testified in our behalf saying they wanted the women and their children in their neighborhood. The program has gone on now for over 25 years helping hundreds of families.
So many more examples come to mind which I will share in the other radical act sections. I’m so grateful to be reminded that this is what life is all about! Just loving as Christ Jesus loved. Thank you to each one who has shared!
Wow, Christine, I am so inspired by your story! You were able to act on the spiritual ideas that came to you, to make a big difference to those women and their children! I know Vancouver, BC has a problem with drug trafficking – heroine, methodone and all kinds of drugs brought in by immigrants – down in the East side of Vancouver. I have been going down to the East side and have gotten to know some of the women. I have joined them for meals at the Women’s Center and have been able to strike up conversation with them there, as the Women’s Center is open to all women. They provide free meals, restroom facilities, free clothing – donated by various church groups and organizations. I have also visited the Downtown Eastside Women’s Shelter where they provide free meals for women in both the neighborhood and those staying in the Shelter and I have met prostitutes, women who are on heroine and methodone and I spoke with a transvestite (man who prefers to be a woman and dresses up like one so he can stay in the shelter). I have sold 2 Science and Health books to the same woman for ( $15) She lost the first one because she says someone stole it, so she passed me another $20 to bring her another! I gave 2 more out – one to the transvestite and the other to a woman in the shelter who has been trying to find a suite to rent in the city. I am next going to arrange to get a van and offer to pick up some of these women when mark Swinney comes to Vancouver to lecture on Eternal Life on Sept. 22. That will be a RADICAL ACT! I’ll keep this in my thought and see if it is the right idea for the day!
One of my favorite Christmas memories involved picking up a prostitute.
She lived in our city in a small apartment with her two daughters, both of whom were students in the 5th/6th grade combination class I was teaching. The mother had a very tough, sad life, and wore it on her face. She actively”hooked” to try and support her daughters, and had been beaten by customers countless times over the years. She had recently exchanged her heroin habit for a methadone habit, and every day was a gut-wrenching challenge. Last of all, her daughters’ dad was in a local prison.
The daughters were dear, but needed a very strong hand in my class, because they’d had a pretty depraved upbringing. For example, before he went to prison, the dad and mom had been too drug-addicted to work normal jobs, so they’d had their daughters earn money for the family by selling pornography in the subway station. There was an incredible need for purity in every direction.
Over the first part of that school year, I got to know the entire family quite well, and I’d help out where I could. Sometimes, it would be providing the fiending mother an early dawn ride to the methadone clinic to get her daily dosage. Sometimes, I would drive the mother and her daughters to the prison to visit their dad. I even got to know the dad, and would occasionally go inside with the ladies to visit him. He and I became friends after his release, and he ended up temporarily working for me.
But the moment that really stands out was on Christmas Eve. My sister and her family were in town, and together with her husband and two elementary children, my wife and I were preparing for a picture perfect Christmas Eve. We were gathered in our warm living room with beautiful lights, pretty music, good food, grateful companionship, and a lovely decorated tree. And then I though about Linda (the prostitute) and her daughters, sitting in their barren little apartment, lonely and broke.
With my wife’s support, I called and asked if they wanted to join us for the evening, and they jumped at the chance. I brought them to our home, and we all spent the evening together. I introduced Linda to my sister’s family as, “Our friend, Linda.” All 4 kids: my life-of-privilege niece and nephew, along with Linda’s daughters, lay on the carpet together: laughing and playing kid games, as we adults talked about typical stuff, listened to “Silent Night”, and exchanged sweet stories about our collection of kids.
Right in the midst of this, I remember looking sideways at Linda’s face as she looked out at her daughters playing on the carpet, having one of the few “normal” experiences of their lives. Beyond the external reflection on Linda’s face from the Christmas lights, her face was shining from the internal glow of the Christ. Linda had a look of peace, joy, and purity on her face that I’d never seen. In that God-filled moment, a lifetime of troubled living gave way to the real child of God she had always been. Seeing this reminded me that that divine light is always beaming its purifying radiance on all of us as well, driving the shadow-beliefs of past troubles out of every hidden corner of each of our lives. In that moment, the words of the beloved Christmas carol seemed to be the voice of God telling us the forever truth about ALL of us: “…All IS calm; all IS bright.”
I really enjoyed this story, its really sweet. We all reflect the Christ and there’s nothing material that can taint that purity in us. Thanks so much for sharing.
What a gift God has given us in one another. What a majestic view we have of the infinite in the joyful tears of another’s eyes. Those tears of joy,that repentance and rebirth, reflected in our own.
Our hearts are spiritual. We can’t help but love one another because God loves us.
Glory be to Love and peace on earth and good will to all.
I really connected with this story and thank you for sharing. All we need sometimes in normalization. I’ve found that in my life, if I feel like I am a part of this world in an accepted and legitimate way, then it fuels my desire to be happy and to contribute to the outside world.
I spent many years as a Foster Care case manager in Saint Louis and many of the children on my case load had been prostitutes or had grown up in an environment where their family members were prostitutes.
As a social worker I had to learn boundaries because while I intellectually understood why these young girls would be driven to prostitution, I made it clear to them that I felt they were in danger in many many ways. As I worked with more and more children I realized that I needed to love them first instead of trying to “fix” them.
I feel like that is what God does for us. We are not sinners needing to be fixed, we are people who just need to be in-tune with the Love that exists for us in this world. Your story helped bring the simple thought to the forefront of my thinking today. Thanks! :)
That was an amazing story! I love too that the listening you did gave a really interesting and unexpected solution to the question. I WANT TO DO THAT ALL THE TIME.
WOW — I LOVE what you did TEBFrost!!! Your kindness to that man has spilled over into my life.
Not so long ago, I was praying about my place in the world. But this time, I looked at it from the angle of this question – “What does the world most need?” I made a list, and found that rather than writing down things like “millions of dollars”, at the top of my list was kindness, then honesty, courage, love, and on until I had easily filled the page. The list was one rich with qualities, divine qualities that I knew, from what Christian Science has taught me, are qualities that God expresses fully in each of us. It was so clear that the world needs these far more than it needs another computer programer, another president, another employee in human ways and means. So, I set out that day to use the “skills” (qualities expressed) that were in highest demand – most needed – in the world. Thus, to be an invaluable asset, readily employable and employed.
I drove off to my job that day focusing on the first quality in my list: kindness. I’d taken time to look up the word in the dictionary and in the Bible, as well as in Mary Baker Eddy’s writings – which inspire me to dig so much deeper into what it means to follow Christ Jesus’ instructions. My concept of kindness was glowing and alive by that point!
Just off the freeway ramp I came to a red light where there is almost always a person standing with a sign, asking for help or work, etc.. Sure enough, there stood a man I hadn’t seen before. My commitment that day to the “skill” of kindness made the prospect of turning away from the man standing there almost hurt inside. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t wait for another opportunity to express kindness cause this one wasn’t to my liking. Here, just a few cars ahead of me, was an example of where kindness was deeply needed in the world. And I’d been honing my skill for just such a moment!
But what was the greatest kindness I could show? Some might think it would be a dollar, or $50. Or to take him to lunch or something. But that all seemed too obvious, too easy to do on the surface without truly being kind. So I asked Divine Love what the man most needed. He seems to be quite alone. Untouchable. Undesirable. I recalled that Jesus had reached out and touched the man who had leprosy. That was his first step in healing him – to show him that he was reachable, healable, and would never be cast out from Love’s embrace.
A hug. I would hug him. That was it! It seemed almost silly and stupid, but the impulsion was unmistakeably divine, so I was obedient. But how could I hug this man before the light turned green? What would he think, anyway? What a silly thing to do! But I waited to catch his eye… I waited…waited… and then, when he finally looked at me, I “air-hugged” him over my steering wheel. Right there, I air-hugged the man. And his smile lit up the world. He grew 3 inches taller. He was like a kid who was picked to be on the kick-ball team. He waved happily. And he kept waving after the light turned and I drove on. Kindness in a hug – that was what he, and the world, most needed in that moment.
Yes, the world has need of YOU, your invaluable skills at kindness, honesty, courage, love – innate skills that God directs and inspires and empowers. Use them and you will be invaluable in the world. An asset beyond compare. Your place in each moment will be clear and beautiful and healing, and will bless you greatly in return.
“Beloved children, the world has need of you, — and more as children than as men and women: it needs your innocence, unselfishness, faithful affection, uncontaminated lives.” – Mary Baker Eddy, Miscellaneous Writings pg 110
I reached out to help a woman who was struggling with many difficulties, whom other people had stopped helping. a mutual friend had warned me that this woman was a “perpetual victim,” and that I should be careful about invitations to go to her house. I think some people simply felt they didn’t have the time or understanding to help her. But I saw this woman struggling so much and she really needed help. I spent several months helping her when no one else would, and I shared Christian Science with her.
I made a lot of personal sacrifices of my time in order to help her. She began to love what I was sharing with her of Christian Science and was soaking it up. The things she was learning about C.S. helped her to gradually reduce the amount of medicines she was taking and step by step overcome some physical difficulties. Being free from medications, she became more alert and aware of things going on in her family that needed correcting, and I continued to help her through those struggles also. Seeing her become so much stronger is priceless. We’ve become good friends. She’s still having some struggles but is doing so much better than when I began helping her. I thank God for helping me to help her. Even though it was hard for me to take all this time to help her, I’m trusting God to meet my needs also.
This radical act feels so closely intertwined with foot-washing. I have noticed sometimes that when a person is getting ready to shed a bad belief about themself (but they don’t know it), they sometimes pour out the bile and blackness of that belief on the one that is helping them shed it.
Initially that was really hard to handle. But, recognizing that it’s just the carnal mind’s last gasp has freed me up to better let it go and know that it’s just part of the process. No matter what blackness, horror, etc. comes up, I don’t have to take anything personally.
This example may seem shallow compared to some of these awesome examples, but I’ll throw it in the mix anyway!
I was an Air Force kid and many times we had to move in the middle of the school year when I was growing up. I said to my mom once, I don’t mind moving all the time, but why does it have to be in the middle of the school year? I always felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb as the new kid–much like I’m sure an “undesirable” would feel in certain places. It seemed to me that friendships had been fostered before I showed up and I was on the outside of everything.
Mom told me that I had assumed I was the only new kid, but the way it worked was that many families were assigned to certain bases at the same time and if I paid attention to the other kids in class, I’d be able to spot those that were feeling as uncomfortable as I was. It worked! And it changed the way I viewed those re-locations. Definitely a lesson in putting self aside and turning the gaze to loving my neighbor more. What makes someone an “undesirable”? A misconception. God delights in all of His creation.
That was a great example, Annette. Working to see that everyone has a place – everyone belongs, and none of us can be outside of God’s comforting love. The world would change overnight if that was more widely understood.
Nothing shallow about that! Thanks for sharing.
I was once in a position where I had to watch a group of young kids. I was warned that one of the kids was a big time trouble maker, and that I should take extra precautions. Since I approached our relationship with this attitude, we literally had a huge argument with almost every interaction. We were so terrible at getting along, I was tired of dealing with such a negative attitude, and this individual would tell me almost daily how much they hated me. It sucked. It wasn’t for a while that I finally tried to change my attitude. I tried to see God’s perfect man, the true expression that Mrs. Eddy said Jesus used to heal people. Crazy, but our relationship started to shift. I started trying to understand the situation from a perspective other than me being right and this other individual being wrong. Eventually, we started working through the problems together, putting aside our personal will to try to understand what was really going on, and after a little while, we even started enjoying each other’s company! Now, even though we are nowhere near each other, we try to stay in contact, exchanging ideas about our lives, music, and stories. Despite the fact that this person was labeled as someone I wouldn’t get along with, we are now very close friends.
Beautiful, Phil. Your example proves the Science of Love. When we love in thought and action we feel and understand why and how God is Love, why we worship Love and nothing else.
Turning enemies into friends is truly a Christian deed!
As I have started to live and recognize this radical act in my daily step, I’ve noticed that prostitute is simple a label. In the “girl world” so many labels and names are thrown around!
Last week I made a friend who I quickly realized had trouble following her where ever she went. I took a step back from this friend so that I would keep myself out of harms way, but I didnt stop loving her or communicating with her. I found that it was easy to make the conversations positive and when we did hangout, we did activities that I chose.
I didnt have to judge or condemn her for her actions but could befriend her in a way that benefited the both of us. This friendship has blossomed and opened my eyes to excepting others and being willing to try new things.
This story I found from a CS Sentinel. http://sentinel.christianscience.com/shared/view/1gt14gsk8wa.
Mr. Mapululu has an incredible story of leaving Rwanda during the genocide and escaping to Goma, DRC. His experience of multiplying supply when no supply seemed evident, finding NGOs to “befriend” those who were abandoned during this great struggle and his constant willingness to offer prayer was truly radical and effective.
Thanks for sharing that story from the Sentinel, Veronica. I’d missed it earlier. What a great example of Radical Acts!
Last year, I became good friends with a homeless woman and admitted former “crack whore,” officiated her memorial service just a few weeks ago at her homeless camp, and during that period of time I learned a lot about about the redemptive power of God’s grace.
My friend, who lived on the streets for 13 years and struggled with mental illness, promiscuity, extreme substance abuse (and every other kind) for decades, started out her life in a Malibu beachfront home, and became an ice-skating prodigy as a young girl. But as she told me in the autobiography I helped her write, “I dreamed about doing a lot of good things, but I needed someone holding my hand and believing in me, and I never found that…so I just kept looking in the wrong places.”
Before she passed on, my friend found a church home at a Christian Science church, started selling custom-made crocheted yarmulkes to make a few dollars, took many steps to repair the damage of years of incarceration, reconciled with some of her family, and developed many friends and admirers.
My friend concluded her life story with the following passage. It makes me think of what Jesus taught about not judging the prostitute who approached him one time.
“I often wonder how God would judge me. Countless times in my 53 years, as I’ve come close to dying, God was there, protecting and watching over me. If He wasn’t God, He would be disgusted over the life I’ve led. But because we’re talking about God, I believe that He forgives every disgusting thing I’ve done…I think there is a heaven and hell, but I don’t think I deserve to go to either one. I’m not worthy of Heaven, and Hell isn’t worthy of me… My hope is that my life will help others learn from my mistakes, and share the message that it’s never, never, EVER too late to fix YOUR mistakes, and turn YOUR life around.”
And because we, too, “are talking about God,” it’s never too late for any of US to find forgiveness in God’s love, and turn OUR lives around, either…….
That is so beyond true!!!! It is never too late to lay off the mistaken ways, no matter how mistaken they seem to be. We can never stop being what God made us to be… for we are the same yesterday, today, and forever…living and moving and always having our being in God…
Thanks
Our music group, It’s About Good, was playing an open mic at a Baptist Church here in Boston. I got a call from a friend who was too busy to advertise for the event and he asked me to help out. I didn’t know where to start! So I called a friend from the community and asked her for her thoughts. She told me to go to the center of town and start talking with people and letting them know.
This seemed vague and not really my style, so I thanked her and closed my eyes and prayed to hear my divine direction. A few minutes into my prayer I received a text message from this friend telling me to make a sign that said “Ask me about the open mic tonight” and wear it as I walked around. This still seemed not my style, so I thought, “If I can find the tape to tape this sign to me, I’ll take it as a sign from you, God, that this is what I’m supposed to do.”
A few seconds into searching I found a bunch of colored markers and tape. So I made another sign that said: “Do you like to 1) Sing? 2) Love? 3) Pray? I got my buddy Timmy D on guitar to come with me and we started serenading people outside of the local ice cream joint. After playing a song called “Unconditional” for a young woman who just moved here from Jackson, Mississippi, a pretty eccentric looking lady followed us as we left. She told us she liked our music and asked where the open mic was. We sat down on the grass to talk and then she asked if we would pray with her about some issues she was having.
So we prayed and then Timmy played her a song while I ran back to the apartment to get her a magazine with testimonies of healings through Christian Science treatments. When I returned and gave her the magazine and a card for the local Christian Science society, she made us the most beautiful butterfly thank you cards that had special messages for us. My card says: “May the Butterfly of Life Fly and Dance thru you. Peace. Butterfly Freedom.”
On the way back, I was moved to turn a corner and head towards a man selling newspapers for change. I asked him if we could sing a song for him and he said he’d love to hear a song. We played him “Divine Ideas” and when we finished we prayed with him and gave him a card for the local CS Society. After we gave it to him he smiled, “Man, I already go there!” Another member of the Society had been inviting him to services already! He ended up coming to the open mic night at the church that night and, well, that’s a story for another Radical Act.
It’s experiences like these that remind me: following Jesus isn’t always THAT “radical” if you just listen to the Father for guidance. Listening brings a perspective that allows for everyone to be equally important to you because you’re seeing them through the eyes of God. Is that really that radical?
i love it Michael!! Thanks for sharing!!
Wow, you are doing such wonderful things through your music. I play guitar and write songs too, but I’ve only done it through my job as an Elementary Music Teacher in the public school system! I never have really used my music for the CS movement! What a great way to communicate the Truth! Keep it up!
Laurel, here’s some of Michael’s music: http://time4thinkers.com/michael-morgan-supper-time/. And more: http://time4thinkers.com/michael-morgan-alex-cook-angels-are-everywhere/ Enjoy!
Hi dear Laurel,
Thank you so much for your loving comment! I love thinking about music and performance this way:
Would you do it in an empty room for God? Have you performed in an empty room (or room full of children) just to please the Creator of all good? If you have then THAT is what makes you talented – pure motives and animated reflection, regardless of the supposed incentive outward incentive.
Every time we express ourselves freely and without fear we ARE doing it for the CS movement.
It’s all about expressing joy and love. And I know you’re doing wonderful at that!
:D
I had a fourth grade student one time who was outrageously out of control and a real hateful kid to be around . Taking him to the principal’s office one morning for the umpteenth time, the principal said,’Well,start recording the boy’s actions, because we’ll probably be moving toward expelling him.” Walking back to class with the boy, it occurred to me that if I was going to record his actions, that my journal could just as easily record that things improved…and that’s what I resolved to look for. Pausing at the entrance to our class, I turned to the boy and said, “I’m not sure what God wants each of to do today, but I’m certain that it’s something BESIDES fighting with each other. I’m going to go back in the room and listen to what God’s telling me to do, and I recommend that you do the same, regarding you.” The boy’s behavior changed and sweetened so much from that moment forward. that when the Christmas holidays arrived a couple of months later, my wife and I ended up having this boy and several of his siblings come to our house and bake cookies. We remained friends for as long as I lived in that community.
“Mortal mind sees what it believes as certainly as it believes what it sees.”
(S&H – pg. 86)
Wow, such positive, powerful intuitive Love-action — pro-active to heal that boy and the classroom atmosphere. Thanks.
Seeing good and essentially God as all is so important. To be honest, I think it makes our own experience and life much more desirable when nothing is undesirable to us. I think the concept of “the undesirable” can go much farther than people, like other thoughts, or cultural practices, or religious beliefs, or lifestyle choices. It’s getting past everything that separates us and builds barriers. It’s not even building bridges instead-it’s seeing that there’s nothing in between good and other ideas of good-If good is all.
Sometimes the “undesirables” have been my own family members. I think God gave us the family structure to really learn how to love. It’s not always automatic. That can make you feel worse too because you’re “supposed” to love your family.
One of my family members has been hard to deal with over the years. I would’ve cut and run if they’d been a friend, even a good friend. But there’s no escaping contact and I’ve progressed in loving this individual more purely. Isn’t that a gift? I’ve had to really stretch my love muscles.
I have a co-worker who usually gets herself so worked up that the only way to get her to calm down is to literally envelope her into my arms and hug her! At first it was a bother to have to stop what I was doing but each time I try to see it as a wonderful “action” and ability to connect to a lovely spiritual idea!
I’ve spent alot of years in the business world, in what some would perceive as pretty hard core industries like aerospace. But my favorite story at a HUGE facility in LA was a man who gave every one of his workers a hug each day. He began, when he first went there, by asking if they’d LIKE a hug. After the initial shock wore off (who does this in the defense sector?!), people said yes. By the time I met him 3 years later, there was literally a line with dozens of people long every single morning at his desk. People refused to start their day without a hug from John. Needless to say he transformed that entire floor of hundreds of workers. Each one can make such a difference.
Thats fantastic! To go off of that it reminds me of the beginning of my senior year of high school. I had been elected school president. Wanting to lead the student as best as I could, my best friend and I decided to arrive at our school an hour early every morning and open the front door for the students. We were both so jazzed about this, but wouldn’t you know it, out of a 2,100 student population, only about 3 people walked through our open doors. It wasn’t as if people didn’t know us. We had been elected to the student government for crying out loud! People would purposefully use the doors around us! I didn’t get it! It was as if WE were the undesirables! After talking to my friend about this, he had nothing but gratitude and excitement from the experience! He said he was so happy that we helped out those 3 people. That sense of gratitude completely rattled my cage, and I went into that with a whole new outlook. Within a month, in rainy Seattle weather, we had people lined up to use our doors and shake our hands. It was such a beautiful experience where so my “befriending” was happening!