I wasn’t fast enough
Dear Lauren,
Remember when you learned to row crew? It was like a light turned on. It was so beautiful, so fulfilling, that even though you were in your late 20s, and you’d never been “sporty,” you yearned to do this. You wanted to be very, very good at it. You wanted to express all those qualities of grace, beauty, strength, and power.
You decided to row competitively. You fought the thoughts that said, “You’ve never been athletic . . . you’ll certainly fail.” It was a battle that went on all summer, every summer.
You wrote passages from the Bible and Science and Health on your hand before each race. “God gave man dominion.” 1 “Right motives give pinions to thought, and strength and freedom to speech and action.” 2 Remember how these relaxed you? Then the words became part of your oar as you pulled with all your might.
You were afraid. You might fall into the cold water (this happened—and you were protected). You won’t finish the practice without getting sick or injured (this happened—and you were healed). Others might make fun of your mistakes (this happened—and you learned about forgiveness, and about your own completeness and wholeness as God’s child).
After rowing for ten years, through many coaches and mistakes and victories, you won an entry in the largest rowing regatta in the world, the Head of the Charles. You rowed the difficult, three-mile race. In a single shell. You and God. And you had fun! And you felt God’s pleasure when you rowed.
The practitioner supporting you was as happy as you were.
“But,” you said, “I wasn’t fast.”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “You will be.”
You worked out all winter long. And you prayed. Not to be the fastest. Not to be the best. But to express God’s strength and power and glory. To be the best teammate and best expression of God you could be. And not to be afraid of anything.
The next season, the practitioner was right. You came “out of nowhere” and became one of the fastest, strongest women on your team. You rowed nationally, and placed in the top five in every race. Then you rowed internationally, and faced down the demons of injury and nervousness. And you did well. All for the glory of God.
When you read this, remember to trust God to save you, tell you what you need to know, guide you and guard you from fear. Don’t ever believe that success comes only from the world’s prescription for prosperity. Chart your course with God. Rely on Him. Be willing to change your course or even abandon it at His direction. Help others thrive as you have.
You’ll win a victory that will never be forgotten, and a glory that will never fade.
Love,
Lauren
Notes:
- Miscellaneous Writings, p. 373 ↩
- Science and Health, p. 454 ↩
Topics: Sports | Tags: athletics, row crew, speed
Thanks for proof that persistence counts.
@ Violet–Thanks so much for your “metaphor”–I love it!
One of the coolest things I found to pray with for racing totally ties in with what you are saying here.
It’s a verse in Mark 6. Jesus had just finished feeding the 5,000, and he’d sent his disciples off to row across the lake while he went to a mountain to pray. Mark tells the story like this: “And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea…”
When you are rowing in wavy water or strong winds, you take a strong stroke in the right direction–but you don’t go anywhere! This seems to me what the disciples were experiencing. (And we’ve all been there, right?)
But during any nasty, slogging time we have, here comes the Christ–or the power of God’s presence–walking toward us, reassuring us, and saving us when it looks like no one or nothing can. We are then healed, and left with a sense of awe, wonder, and profound gratitude.
My race on the Charles River illustrated this a bit. Since boats are rowed backwards, I had to listen and think in order to navigate through low bridges, around sharp turns, and around other rowers–all this while keeping my stroke clean and rowing as hard as I could!
I remember **really** listening for those Christ thoughts, so I’d know where to go and what to do. Heading into the last turn of the race, I was in a pack of about 15 other rowers. I heard someone on shore yelling my name and telling me to “go outside”–meaning, head away from the shoreline into the middle of the river. Now, my race plan was to head **toward** shore, because that was the shortest distance to the finish line. But I was so tuned in–so willing to listen to whatever Christ thoughts came to me–that I did what I was told. I turned my boat, and narrowly missed rowing into a 5-boat crash! Whew!
So when you ask how it felt to row this race, I can tell you this: the thoughts from God were loud and brilliant and crisp–and sometimes as loud as the person on the shore! Other limiting, panicky, fearful thoughts had to take a backseat to the waves of calm, practical, strong thoughts that came to me. And when I finished the race, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love for God. For me, it was a tremendous testimonial to the power of prayer. And it gave me the confidence and courage I’ve needed to row better and faster since.
Thanks for writing!
Lauren this is beautiful. I’ve read it several times and each time I get more out of it.
This time I see you rowing in the single shell as a metaphor for our healing efforts, especially when we heal chronic issues. Then, too, I think we can “feel God’s pleasure as we row.”
If you have a moment I’d love to hear more about that race, how it felt to be out there, how you soared above fearful or negative thoughts. Thank you so much!
This is so beautifully shared, but what I’m appreciating most is your comment here, Lauren, about how love and gratitude are connected to the best discipline. I’ve never thought about it like that. What a wonderful insight.
@ Samantha: You aren’t alone! It’s safe to say that I’m disciplined in some things, but not in everything!
I think discipline is about listening to God for direction and bringing a sense of love and gratitude to activities. If I do that, then I find myself motivated to do what needs to be done–and then I find I really **like** what I’m doing. This is true for my rowing, but also for those less fun things we all have to do that can seem menial and boring.
I like that the root word of “discipline” is “disciple.” Jesus’ disciples did some amazing things, but they dropped the ball a lot, too! Their sense of love for the fabulous message they were hearing allowed them to learn from their failings, shake off any sense of guilt or inferiority, and become healers and teachers in their own right. So that sense of love for what you do is key.
Thanks for writing!
Have you always been this disciplined? If not how did you get that way? I think discipline is my biggest problem.
Great, terrific, what great idea.I love it.
Thank you.
Thanks for this! I love the last paragraph, about charting our course with God and not being afraid to change course at God’s direction. This can be applied to so many things in life. Thank you.
So ooo loved your perseverance, your willingness to knock one ball/fear out of the park at a time!!!
Gorgeous example of how important it is to continually gaze at the Infinite and press on and hear, see and feel the glory of God!!
Thank you!!!!!!!!
Now this ws cool! I really liked how you talked about being afraid and overcoming it. It can be really hard to start something that seems so different from what you’ve done in the past. But you proved that “with God, all things are possible.”
Lauren, I’m gunna share this with every young athlete I know – and with several coaches. It is inspired. It’s one of the best illustrations I’ve ever read of the spiritual dimension of competing. Best, you can feel the power of true demonstration in every word. Thank you for taking the time to share it with us all!
This is so inspiring, Lauren. Thank you, thank you for sharing it. I love this part because I know you’ve lived it: remember to trust God to save you, tell you what you need to know, guide you and guard you from fear. Don’t ever believe that success comes only from the world’s prescription for prosperity. Chart your course with God. Rely on Him. Be willing to change your course or even abandon it at His direction. Help others thrive as you have.