I’m sick of being judged! What can I do?
Sometimes I feel like other Christian Scientists judge me, but I want to feel a part of the community. How can I get past their judgment?
Suzette Perkins says: As part of a close knit school community, I had ideas about how things could be done better. It’s easy to size things up and offer opinions (whether others want them or not!). And I offered plenty.
I felt part of my kids’ school community and that was important to me. But my participation was full of judgment and side conversations that I kept excusing because I knew best. My criticism wove its way around things like how to hire teachers, run recess, deal with curriculum needs, make the school sustainable, fund raise and more.
It didn’t feel good. Did I really want to live in continual judgment?
Jesus gave me a role model for effective community participation. His disciples asked him “Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” 1) He didn’t mention the mom! He indicated that children — and humility — held the key to enter the Kingdom.
And then suddenly, my husband passed on. Within a day or two, a letter arrived from the person I’d judged — and found deficient. The head of the school said she guaranteed my children’s education through 8th grade. This was an $85,000 gift. It took my breath away.
But there was more.
She took action to make sure my kids had everything they needed at school to help them through this tough time.
She was grace personified. She knew how to be the bigger person. Her childlike example taught me. She taught me how to give grace to her.
I’d had community all along, but when I stopped the judging, I had peace — in thought, heart, and practice.
With any group of humans, a culture tends to grow — lots of unwritten as well as written rules shove us around. If a human yardstick comes out, it sets up a contest. But I’ve learned to walk away from the contest and now I’m free.
Suzette is a Christian Science practitioner based in St. Louis, MO.
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- Matthew 18:1 NLT ↩
Topics: Relationships | Tags: community, community support, finger pointing, judgment, outcast