Separated? Not from God
Dear Amy,
The official-looking manila envelope is like a slap across the face. Tucked there, among other more mundane mail–a surplus after your weekend away–it’s not exactly a surprise. You knew this was coming, but it still hurts.
You’d been happy since you’d gotten home from your long weekend with friends. The brief stay at the cabin by the lake was just what you needed. You’d been feeling strong again. Hopeful. Until you saw the manila envelope: You’ve been divorced for a week and you didn’t even know it.
It’s not like you didn’t know this was coming. It was a separation you hadn’t wanted, but could do nothing to stop. Still, the envelope….
The phone rings and it’s him.
He confuses you by saying maybe it was a mistake. He was the one who walked out, but now he murmurs that maybe you should get back together. Your head is spinning.
You need help and you reach out to a friend who has prayed with you when you needed support these past 9 months. She says, “God is your Life, you know.”
It’s not helpful at all. What you wanted was advice, direction. You’d have settled for a good idea. Something inspirational, something that would help you figure it all out. Should you give the relationship another go, or move on?
You feel unsettled now, but tomorrow morning you’ll see that your friend’s words were preparing the way for the inspiration you’re looking for—and it comes straight from God.
You’re going to wake up to a thought that’s more than comforting; it’s transformative. You’re going to realize that while your ex-husband could be an important part of your life, he could never make up your entire existence. That’s a job that God alone can fill. He is your Life, your only Life. You’ll see really clearly that you are never going to be as close to anyone as you will always be to God.
Some wonderful things are waiting for you as you keep your life God-centered. I promise you. No more second-guessing. No more confusion. You will feel strong again. And happy.
Love,
Amy
Topics: Marriage | Tags: alone, decision-making, decisions, divorce, separation
I had to laugh a bit at the “It’s not helpful at all” line, despite the seriousness of this article. Probably because I can relate to instances when people have said things that are actually quite profound when you think about them, but I hadn’t been ready to hear them yet! But the pivotal point, that “God is your life,” is so key and perhaps something that has to be learned through experience.
A little while ago I was teaching Sunday School to a class of 9th graders. One of the passages we read together was from S&H 26:1. One part of that says that “Jesus … [tread] alone his loving pathway up to the throne of glory,” and in response to that one of the students kind of protested, saying, “But he had people around him all the time! Why on Earth would he think he’s alone?” Admittedly, I felt like there was a certain amount of naivety in that student’s statement, but nevertheless, it was an interesting idea to ponder.
I think you can notice something similar in those moments when we feel alone. In reality there’s always an army of angels surrounding us, right at hand. And as we acknowledge that — especially in these moments when it’s hard to — that reality starts to manifest more and more, and helps bring back all the strength, the joy, and the “real you” that cannot be hidden. Thank you for writing this letter.
It’s so true how you can feel alone even you’re surrounded by people, Gordon! I remember that the loneliest I’ve ever felt was when I was sitting on the couch right next to my husband, because he didn’t know who I really was. I like what you say about the army of angels though. I like to think how they were there, even when I was unaware. :)
One of the best statements that a practitioner said to me was: Angels are not in conflict with each other. It kind of erased all the “dumb” statements like, “God is your life” by making me realize that when anyone tells us something meant to be comforting to listen and understand the importance, how it should effect us.
It’s amazing how a piece of paper can make us feel or change our ways. When we truly let God be our life, the blessings are uncountable.